FF as a lifestyle decision?

[paradise lost]

Hmmm, i don't think feeling awful for your lifestyle makes any sense! Put that out of your mind.

I know LOTS of women who FF for lifestyle reasons, including one who boobie fed her #1 for 2 years and then gave her #2 FF within a few days - she had to go back to work within a few weeks (her own business) and had watched her #1 go through all manner of stress because he wouldn't take milk from anything but a boob, not a cup, bottle, spoon, anything - she had a ton of EBM and no way of giving it to him and simply wasn't in the position to lose business now it was her own business in order to go feed him in childcare every 3 hours.

You have to work. They SHOULD make BFing possible if it's your choice to do it, all you need is a decent pump and a fridge and you're good to go, but if you chose to FF for that reason then feeling guilty is like feeling guilty for putting food on the table and keeping a roof over your heads. Some lifestyle things you can change and some you can't or don't want to. This is YOUR baby, coming into YOUR family.

No matter WHICH way you decide to feed your baby there will be SOMEONE who has a negative view of you and loud opinion. So what - it's not them who has to come to your house at 3am and feed the baby, so it's not their beeswax!

I FF DD from 5.5months or so and weaned her off the boob entirely at 7 months, and i read all the various infos about "risks and benefits" of FF and BF so i was aware of potential problems and could try to minimise things in other ways. My friend did this too (like she kept bubs #2 in her room to sleep for the full first 6 months (she moved #1 to his own room at 5 weeks) to reduce some of the statistical risks of FF, and she weaned at 6 months to minimise allergy risk, that sort of thing). Her boys are both healthy and happy and you would not tell between them in terms of strength and vigour.

From a practical POV, i'd have to agree that FF was more work compared to BF, especially if i wanted to go out for the day. It was a shock to suddenly have to do maths about how many times i'd need to feed her and how long the milk would be unrefrigerated and all that, LOL, was used to just taking 1 burping cloth and going out! But i also agree that it's like MCNing, you just DO the extra work. I wouldn't volunteer for it next time, but i am SO lazy. Just having 2 kids is going to be a shock for me i think! LOL.

Best of luck with your birth and good on you for giving BF a go. You might love it, you might not. Only one way to find out

Bx

[amberj]

I just wanted to say thank-you to everyone for all your replies- they have all been wonderful and supportive.

Thank you!

[prama]

amber - do what you feel is right. i was formula fed, and im normal!
no one should tell you what to do, and as a mum you'll get that constantly.
just a word of caution, the nurses, mws, LCs at the hossy might get pushy about bf-ing. they might or they could rrspect your decision.

losing weight! bf-ing isnt helping me at all! doesnt work for everyone, esp over 30 like me!

[fionas]

Hi Amber

Good on you for being so honest!

I echo what everyone else has said. There's pros and cons to each of course. I think in terms of lifestyle there's a few things to consider. You'll probably find that BF takes up much more time than FF in the beginning as FF keeps them fuller for longer BUT BF is much more convenient, as the others have said, in terms of going out and about (and even staying in). I know washing and sterilising bottles doesn't sound like much hassle but IT'S BORING and when you get caught off-guard with a crying, hungry baby and no clean bottles the 10 mins it takes to get sorted can seem like an eternity - especially with an unexpected wake-up in the night and a DP who "forgot" to do the bottles the night before LOL.

Secondly, I think the older the baby is the less time it takes for them to BF (from what I've observed at my Mothers Group) compared to the time it takes for them to drink a bottle. For some of the BF mums, it seems to take 5-10 mins whereas it can often take my DD 30 mins to finish a bottle. She'll have a little bit, then get bored, starts whacking the bottle, have a giggle, play with the teat so I put her down before trying all over again!

As I said before, good on you for being so honest and I wish you all the best.

[~kellie~]

I was pretty much the same as you when I was pregnant with my DD, I didn't think I would breast feed for very long either, but 6.5 months later I am still going strong! So, what I am trying to say is, my advice would be to wait till bubs is born, cause you may completely change your mind! But remember 1 important thing, happy mum = happy baby!

[Doing my best]

Hi Amber,

As everyone else has said, it is all up to what is right for you as a family. I wanted to BF, but didn't have enough supply, (and for my reasons, decided not to increase it), but up until a few weeks ago was still giving DD BF in the morning and evening and FF at all other feeds. Some people thought I was nuts, and midwife tried telling me at 8 weeks that she wouldn't be doing it after 3 months cause of the slow supply compared to FF, but she really enjoyed that cuddle time, as I went back to work p/t at 3 & 1/2 months. The only reason I totally stopped as DD was using my nipples as a teething ring... OUCH.. As it wasn't her main supply of food, I stopped.

But, again, do whatever you feel is right for your situation once bub has arrived.

[Indadhanu]

Hi Jessica,

I just want to say that as long as you are happy with your decision then tell anyone else who challenges your decision to go jump. You'll get those who repeat breast is best until they're blue in the face, but who are they to tell you what is right for you and your body and your baby. I am the opposite, really hoping to breastfeed to 12 months + and face opinions from family/friends who think 12 weeks is long enough.... we're going to get opinions from people who think its their way or nothing, and don't mind letting you know. And not just about feeding too (as I'm sure you've experienced ). But it's not their family. It's not their life. It's not their decision to make. Whatever decision you make will be the best for your circumstances.

[Gigi]

Amber
good on you for exploring all the options.

i've only been a mum for a short time (my bub is 18months old) and i reckon, as soon as you become pregnant EVERYONE has something to say to you, no matter WHAT decisions you make, there is ALWAYS someone banging on, judging you - usually complete strangers at the supermarket !!!! It gets very wearing to put up with it all, i coudln't believe it, it started when pregnant, i thought i would get a break then, but no!

I cop it FOR breastfeeding, so sorry to burst your bubble hon, but WHICH EVER way you go, FF or BF, people STILL make comments!!!! I've been told - since five months "when are you going to put her of FF"?

I've noticed, the majority of people use FF, the majority of people use disposable nappies, that is the norm right now.

i breastfeed and use modern cloth nappies, so i cop it quite a bit.

but i am doing exactly what you are doing - and i believe most mums do, i think about things first, then make up my mind and make a decision based on MY FAMILY -not all the stickybeaks who put their oar in.

it's like having a bub makes you become an advocate for your bub - you ahve to stand firm, cos if you don't, who else will look out for your bub?

So i reckon you're on the right track, and really what else can you do?

you can learn about different ways of doing things, and then when you come to the relevant time in your life e.g baby arrives, armed with what you know, you make a choice at the time. I don't believe it's something you can decide AHEAD of time. Before having a baby, i was such a control freak! now i'm learning, you have to go with the flow, continually revising what you're going to do.

it does help to be well prepared.

e.g i made the mistake of going into labour NOT knowing about c-sections - which i lived to regret. In retrospect, i should have schooled up on ALL ways of hving a baby, not just the one i thought i wanted.

So don't let anyone bully you, educate yourself on all options, and then choose what is right for you. ANd don't be boxed in, it's not one or the other exclusively. Some people FF part of the time, adn BF part of the time.

i remember finding BF-ing so hard at the start, i used to tell myself, i will do it for today, but i cant guarantee tomorrow. cos thinking too far ahead, just couldn't get my head around that.

mothering seems to have all this GUILT attached to it.
SO MANY decision you have to make on behalf of your baby!
and all these people happy to make their comments!
so have some supportive people nearby to back you up.

and don't worry, which ever choice you make, you are the mum, you make the decision with love for your baby, don't forget that, you are the best person to make the decision.

hope your labour goes great for you Amber!

[ShootingStar]

DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU!
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with formula!!!!!
My son has been nothing but healthy (minus his bout with HF&M but thats a contractable virus so has nothing to do with not being BF). I was FF from birth as was my brother and sister and w're all the same as DS.. HEALTHY!

Regarding expenses.. i honestly think neither one out weighs the other as if you BF you need to be having a good stable diet, taken vitamins, buying breast pads, nipple creams etc etc.
Honestly, its not that overly time consuming. You wash the bottles as you do your dishes and stick them in a steriliser. And you boil water as you do for a cup of tea.

Do what works for you and your family and dont let anyone, especially midwives who are set in their ways, make you feel guilty that you should be doing something different. Good on you for making the choice!

[sangie]

Good on you sweety for thinking ahead - wish I had done more of that lol!

My advice to you would be give bf a try and see how it goes and how it fits into your lifestyle.......you may find you love it or it may be that you decide to go ff. I learnt early on with a bub to just take each day as it comes, there is no rush to make a decision either way. Oh and you may find that a combination of bf and ff works for you, this is what I did for quite a while.........best of luck and you will know what to do when the time comes!

People will ALWAYS have an opinion and given how sensitive I was just after having bubs (bloody hormones!) I found myself quite often in tears about bf vs ff. Follow your instincts and you can't go wrong

[Phteven]

Regarding expenses.. i honestly think neither one out weighs the other as if you BF you need to be having a good stable diet, taken vitamins, buying breast pads, nipple creams etc etc.
Honestly, its not that overly time consuming. You wash the bottles as you do your dishes and stick them in a steriliser. And you boil water as you do for a cup of tea.

I think that you've rather overestimated the cost of breastfeeding.
We all should have a good diet regardless of how our babies are fed and a good diet is actually cheaper than an unhealthy diet. Even if you have a dreadful diet you can still breastfeed. The same bottle of vitamins I was taking when I was pregnant is still in my fridge. I take one every few months if I remember. If you have a good diet you're just going to pee out most of the contents of the pills. IMO the breastfeeding part on those vitamins is a marketing ploy rather than accurate dietary advice. 1 tube of lanisoh lasted me for my entire BF relationship with each of my boys - after a week or 2 you don't need them.
Breast-pads aren't a big expense and re-usable ones are even cheaper.

For me even 1 extra thing in the washing up is too time consuming lol - I hate washing up.

[River]

Yup, agreed with Chloe, you can breastfeed without an expensive diet - do you know that is one of the sneaky marketing tools of the forumla companies? They put out leaflets on breastfeeding, but in it put pictures of expensive foods so that people think it's hard to afford a diet on with you can breastfeed. Heck, you can breastfeed on a diet of full fast food if you wanted to - but that would be crap for you anyway.

Multivitamins for breastfeeding aren't a big necessity either and as Chloe says, mainly just marketing by the pharma companies. If your diet is crap, you will probably need a multi regardless of if you are breastfeeding - if you don't need one in your normal life, you don't need one when breastfeeding.

I don't wear breastpads - but I have a set of cotton washable ones there for JIC. I don't use nipple creams.

[ShootingStar]

All i was trying to say is formula feeding isnt really as bad as its made out to be and was stating my personal opinion and experience as everyone else has in this thread. Even though i only BF DS for 9 days, i used all of the above.

[River]

Oh yeah, of course Kell. I was just clarifying is all

[Trillian]

Okaaaayyyyy, I think it is time to stop heading down the same old path yet again.

[prama]

pls dont turn this into a FFvsBF debate. Amber just wanted some feedback on her choices..
i posted a thread once feeling depressed abt BF and it turned into a big debate about FF vs BF and it got me more depressed.

[Phteven]

prama, I don't think that anyone was making it FF v BF. River and I were merely clarifying what we saw as a couple of factual errors.
If someone wants to make a choice it's important that they have access to the correct information...

[Liz]

Yeah - I guess it depends on the lifestyle. My lifestyle revolves around everything being the quickest, easiest and cheapest. LOL. So co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and cloth nappies were my choices!

I think it's fantastic that your DH wants the involvement with the baby. This is definitely still possible with breastfeeding, but I would keep in mind that it's not really a father's natural "job" to feed a baby milk. There's plenty of other things a father can do to bond with the baby.. bathtime, bedtime, and just playing. If you do decide to give breastfeeding a go, it's important that your partner is supportive of it, so perhaps he could look forward to other aspects of parenting?

You say you work from home? IMO thats perfect for breastfeeding (I work from home myself).

But at the end of the day, it is your choice. But definitely surround yourself with supportive people if you decide you enjoy breastfeeding and want to keep at it.