Hi Kylz,

First up, I'm sorry your BF journey is ending before you're ready for it. I was there with my first son, and it's heart-wrenching. The guilt took a long, long time for me to lose, and I think I've only just lost it now, after Pip was 3 1/2.

Here are few things that worked for me:
1. You gave BM during those first vital weeks of life.
2. You have done everything you can at this point.
3. Your little man may still take comfort from being on your breast - even though I had nothing after about 6 weeks as well, Pip would still attach when he was distressed and it would calm him down, that closeness to me, more than anything else.

As your little man grows and thrives, then you'll know in your heart that you've done the best for him, as you are aware in your head.
When you go to any mothers groups the MCHN may organise, be aware that the ladies there may interrogate you. I did get a lot of dissapproving looks etc, but out of those 10 ladies, only 1 is still BFing and she was the only one who also went past 1 year.

Some positives - you can have a night off! Your DH can look after Master H one night a week and enjoy that bonding. Plus you won't be leaking! No horrid full breasts to worry about, rockmelons that everyone whinges about. (trust me, I've got them sorta now, and although I enjoy simply having that sensation, they are so uncomfortable!)

Just in case, have you tried a private LC? They may be able to help you even at this late stage.

and all the best with your little man.