More support for FF mums by choice?

[Matryoshka]

Hmmm I suppose i was more asking if anyone else felt they needed more support as a FF, as maybe i'm the only one who feels unsupported in FF.

Great to see that you don't

Trill, i understand from a mod pov. In that regard by all means offer support but i'd like to see more care taken in the wording. Though rather not go there discussion wise... this isn't really the area for that

[Trillian]

No that's OK, I knew you dodn't want to discuss that aspect I was just explaining it from a forum POV kwim?

I do see what you mean though and I think where the lines get blurred is when people assume support = agreeing with what you are doing 100% whereas it's probably not so much support you are looking for, but respect, respect for the choice you have made just as you would respect the choices made by someone else. because it is entirely possible to support someone fully even if you don't agree with what they are doing because it may not be something you would do yourself. So I guess it would be more supportive if someone didn't say "OMG you're going to permanently damage your baby by doing that" when they find out how you feed your baby, even if that's what they think because when someone is struggling either way, it's not up to anyone else to spout their own opinions unless it's asked for.

[Inanna]

Good points you bring up Trill...

My experience is the other side of the fence. As a woman committed to feeding at the breast I was told I was doing damange for continuing even though it was quite awful for a while. My experience was there was little honouring of breast feeding - & what was easier was the way to go. With a couple of my kids. And then with Imogen. It was incredible how many people asked me why I bothered with around the clock expressing when I was so ill... It seemed irrelevant how anti ff the NICU was - by a number of "well meaning" folk I was a bit loopy... I needed to "be practical"... I too was on medication for pain and depression/anxiety. It was a real juggle. So I can truly empathise Tan from a personal perspective.

Support is lovingly being held - it isn't agreeing with a decision (as you said Trill in different words). I support people all the time who I don't necessarily agree are making fabbo decisions. There is a difference...

[Matryoshka]

Yep, the thread was totally about my poor decision making skills

Thanks for your support

[*Ali*]

Tan- I dont think anyone was having a go at you, or judging the decisions you have made- just responding to questions and comments posted by you. You asked for peoples opinions, and my opinion is that people really hve to worry less about what other people think- no body has the right answer for you, you are the only one that holds that.

Hindsight is a fine thing, and the reality is we can't take back the past merley learn from it and move on. At the time you were BF L and the time you were tandem feeding, you believed that you were doing the best thing for your boys.

Real friends support you no matter what decisions you make in life-whether it is the same as their decisions or not, that is what makes them real friends, everyone else is just a bystander on your journey through lifes joys and bumps.

Isn't seeing happy healthy boys, feeling happy and healthier in yourself for the decisions you have made reward enough?

I really value and respect you as a friend, and I am not trying to have a go at you, just want you to see that sometimes we have to be our own cheer squad, and pat ourselves on the back- everyone else is to busy living their own lives.

[Marlene]

Support is lovingly being held - it isn't agreeing with a decision . I support people all the time who I don't necessarily agree are making fabbo decisions. There is a difference...

Beautifully said!