Hi ladies

Is it wrong to CHOOSE to FF my baby rather than doing it for medical reasons?

I would rather not share details of my reasons why (let's just say they are abuse and depression related and leave it at that) and I am not saying that I won't try to breastfeed if I feel the urge to. I want baby to get the first important milk, but want the midwives to help me express that.

I joined the ABA in an attempt to learn all I can about breastfeeding and get myself used to the idea of it in an attempt to get my brain ready to actually go ahead and do it. I read the books, brochures, newsletters, ABA magazine and everything else I have been supplied with during membership but now I just feel worse becuase I STILL don't want to do it. If anything, I now just feel more guilty for wanting to FF rather than wanting to BF more.

IF an overwhelming urge comes over me to BF after baby is born I will give it a go, but all arrows at the moment are pointing to the 'no BF' option.

I was going to consider expressing full time but I am rather uncomfortable with that too.

They say "happy mum = happy baby". At the moment I think I will feel more comfortable and happy by FFing.

I do not mean to offend anyone here. My hang ups re BF are totally mine. I have no problems with ANYONE else's choice to BF or FF but fear I may be bullied by midwives and general snoopy people and family members from choosing to FF.

As I said - I want baby to get 1st milk into it's system but not via my breast. Just a personal thing. Again, if I feel I want to try BF when the time comes, I will. But I am preparing for not wanting to also.

(if this thread shows up twice I apologise...computer threw a fit and reposted)