I must admit that I was a bit uncomfortable about the thought of BF but I figured that it would be something that I would just get over. To this day im not sure where my uncomfortable feeling came from but to a degree I feel that it did affect my bf journey.
When DS was born he didn't feed for more than 24 hours, the hospital needed to give him formula top ups as they were concerned about his blood sugar and he couldn't hold his temp. I breast fed in hospital because I thought that was what I shoud do. DS wouldn't attach preoperly (not even once) and I hated every moment to the point that would dread the sound of DS crying because that meant I needed to bf him. I was spiralling into depression and in the end I decided that I needed to make a decision to ff.
My midwife came and saw me the morning after we came home from the hospital and basically told me that he should be put on formula as I wasn't coping and his jaundice was getting worse. For me this was the best thing as it allowed me to see that my feelings were ok and I wasn't the only one thinking I should FF. I had every intention of expressing but I coudn't even bring myself to do that. Once I felt ready my milk had dried up and it was too late.
I spent so long feeling bad and being worried about what other people would think about me ff such a small baby but in the end I realised that it was the best thing for me and my son and that was the most important thing. I have never had anyone make any bad comments about me ff.
You dont need to make this decision now just see how it goes. The best advice I can give you is take it easy and dont pressure yourself. If you feel you cant cope, go with the formula and express if you feel that is best for you. I got so worked up about the bf that I felt I couldn't express and I regret that.
Phew, bit of an essay hey! Hope you got through it and hope it helped.
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