Maybe my view has more to do with the fact that I lived in New York City for 18 years before moving to AUS and you all sorts of family arrangements there. I think your child will be incredibly lucky - to have 3 parents all who love them and who only want the very best for them and who will be there as parents...

a few things I would want to make sure are understood at the outset...oh, I have to add that I'm straight and married, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about...but I wanted to at least tell you that I think it's wonderful for a child to have this...

- that in terms of all decisions that parents make - it's you & your wife who make those decisions...cousin can weigh-in, as maybe would any close friend, but you & your wife are the parents...also, that the cousin can't be used as a "tie breaker" in case you and your wife disagree - i guess this goes to what it means to "play the dad part" - as the baby will have 2 mummies and a daddy.

- legal issues - I would definitely get legal advice...what happens if you and your wife split up...and even if she moves in with her cousin for help - what would each of your want your rights be in terms of visitation? what would your responsibilities be? How would the Aussie courts recognize each of you in terms of parenting rights and responsibilities? who, in the worse case scenario, would dr's listen to in terms of administering medical assistance to the baby? As perfect as your situation seems now, things change and working these things through now may really help everyone clarify their expectations...and maybe show that this arrangement isn't right....or that it really is right for all of you.

- the child will be living full time with you and your wife, right? then I think the child will see you and your wife as the primary parents...and I think if you and her cousin are sensitive to the fact that your wife needs to be treated as such, things should be OK...