Ditto the previous replies. As the non-birth/biological mum to two beautiful children aged 8 and 10 years old I could not feel differently about them if they had grown within me and I had physically birthed them. They are also (for many complicate reasons) much closer to me than their biological/birth mother. We used a known donor, I did the inseminations. With our first child, I was still a student and although he was breastfed until 18 months he was more than happy to take expressed milk from a bottle so he would regularly come with me to uni, tutes etc and this gave his other mum a chance to catch up on some sleep! When our second child was born I was working fulltime so spent less time doing the day to day care but still formed a close and secure relationship with him. Both children were born by emergency LSCS and both times I cut the cord. our first son had to go to NICU (and my parents went with him while I stayed in theatre with my partner). Our sewcond son was able to stay with us and so I (like Shell) held in in theatre and recovery and this was a very special time.

Having said all that, although I hope it has provided some reassurrance to Jessica I think its important for her to continue to express her fears/doubts and if they remain or seem overwhelming perhaps the two of you could talk through the issues with someone prior to conceiving. Good luck, Girldoc