I guess if it is important for them to be related is different for everybody.. it may not be of great concern to some. For us personally, it is really important that all our children share the same donor. For start, we dont want to be mothers who have children to multiple fathers.. we'd like our children to have the possibility of sharing the same traits/ looks etc. Plus we think it bonds us together a little more considering we will both be tummy mummies also, that the children are all related biologically.
I know blood doesn't mean family and families are made up of many different situations etc, but for us it is what we wanted!
We specifically looked for a donor who would be willing to donate now as well as in the future for more children between both my partner and I. We were lucky to find a donor which suited us and also lives interstate and is not interested in being involved in bubs life etc.. but will be known to the child in the future if the child chooses.
There are many options available but Im not sure how it works with storing for the future etc. Depends what sort of donor you are after, known, unknown. Cheapest and easiest way I'd say is with a known donor who is willing to donate in the future also, like what we are doing. Good luck!!
It's not a situation I expect I'll find myself in, but if I were in that position, I'd probably want the same donor - there's the medical reasons (you'll only need to ask for one set of family history) as well as the "looking similar" thing... Also, if your partner is going to carry any future kids, they'd still bd blood relations (not that it particularly matters...)
there's a list of abbreviations in another part of the forums, I'd post the link but I'm on my iPod
I didn't use a known donor so I won't answer on that, but in terms of the FS to see at QFG - I highly recommend Dr. Kilvert, he's great about registering treatment so that you get the maximum back from medicare, and he's lovely too.
My husband and I are using a sperm donor - so we have similar decisions to make.
To answer the question about using the same donor - if we decide to go again I will be using the same donor. We have his sperm in storage at the IVF clinic we used. I would prefer this so that the children know that they have the same biological background.
To answer the question about known donors - we were very lucky that we had a friend that was willing to help us out. Our FS recommended asking people that we knew, although this friend stepped forward before we needed to start asking around.
Your other options are asking a family member (which unfortunately didn't work out for us) or I *think* there are advertisements in different newspapers.
I know there is a site for egg donors - not so sure for sperm donors
We used an unknwon donor so may not have the luxury. We'd prefer it because Shel will be bio-mum next time so that would be nice for Jazz, but it won't change our decision to have another child if we can't use the same donor.
Thanks Shades for the FS recommendation. He was actually the one that I was going to start with. And thank you for the link to the abbreviations forum. I tried looking before I asked but obviously didn't look hard enough
We have thought about asking family members. Not sure if my family would be too accepting of that and I think it would make telling our children the truth more difficult. But I do love the idea of me using a donor from Jo's family and Jo using a donor from my family.
Really wishing that I could just produce the little swimmers myself Wouldn't that be great. Ahh...*signs*... I can only dream.
As Sal will be the only tummy mummy, we have been very lucky in that all our kids will be biologically 'the same' ( not that I truly believe it matters, but it is nice for a familly to look similar) We went through Melbourne IVF and have friends of ours that are about to start IUI with the same donor as their little girl, but with a different tummy mummy. They have incured more costs to do it that way, as Melb IVF insist on treating the second tummy mummy as a brand new patient, not as the partner of someone who has already done the journey, but they were quite happy to 'hold' enough sperm for their family to have as many kids as they want, regardless as to who is carrying them.
Good luck on your journey ladies, hope to see you in the preg announcements forum soon
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