As gay male with a son I have a perpective on this:

Firstly everyone needs to speak very openly and candidly about what the intentions are, not just what you think the other person WANTS to hear but what you genuinely believe. I personally dont believe it is healthy for a child to be denied the information of who their biological Father is...it doesnt mean he would be the childs Dad or parent. My partner and I have a beautiful 17 month old son via the help of an amazing Traditional Surrogate. Our son will always know that she is his mother...he will not call her Mum but by her first name...but at least he knows who his biological mother is. I hope not to be too controversial here but as a male I sometimes think females under estimate the attachement that males have to their children and somtimes can tend to think of a donor as simply that...a donor as a means to an end (ie to have a baby). i wonder how some ladies would feel if I said that our surrogate has given birth to our son and now we do not want her to have any contact etc because we are worried that she will want custody. I just wanted to put another perpective on this...from the view point of a male.

Each and every situation is different and what is right for some is not for others.