Are you planning on doing this on your own or as a couple? You talk about who's surnames your child will have so it sounds like you are planning on including your girlfriend. But then you say you never committed to the relationship with your girlfriend and you would prefer to be single. I hope I'm not twisting your words, that's just how I read it and it sounds pretty confusing!
IMO, if an open relationship with your girlfriend is what you want, then obviously it's not a committed one and one that a child should not be brought into. If I were you and there was little chance of stablising and committing to the relationship for the long term, I would end it - from what you've said, she sounds very manipulative and controlling anyway, which is bad enough without a child involved. In other words, I would wait until your relationships are all sorted out before planning on having a child. As you said, you don't want a child in the middle of all that.
I can't help on the IVF front but I'm sure someone will pop in and help you out there.
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