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Thread: *vent* public tantrums

  1. #1

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    Default *vent* public tantrums

    We just had an exciting trip to the shop with Matilda having a melt down over not being able to have a sausage roll (I had no cash on me & no $$ in the bank because I spent it all doing the food shop)

    Anyway... she wound up tantruming. So I stopped and let her express herself over her dissappointment and I tried to explain that I had sausage rolls at home she could have when we got there... not good enough. Which is okay, she's only 3.

    But the thing was I had one lady say very loudly as she walked by "my goodness can't that mother control her child? Imagine doing that in the shops" I had another lady stop when I was trying to stop Matilda running away. She said "just give her a whollop, go on..." I put Matilda in the car & came back for Jovie as it was too much with two and then suddenly Matilda escaped the car & was running on the road. An older man went to grab her & another old lady who was watching us started yelling "DON'T TOUCH HER!" and so he shrunk back & she followed Matilda while I came back (there were stairs & I had a trolley full with Jovie in it) I found her near the sausage roll place & the lady yelled at Matilda "STOP!" Matilda turned around & couldn't see me and freaked out. I ran up & grabbed her & the lady said that I needed Matilda to be afraid of me. That obviously she didn't respect me because she wasn't afraid of me. I thanked her for keeping an eye on Matilda & went back with Matilda kicking & screaming the whole way. As I was in tears trying to manage a 3 yr old who lost it & a baby in a trolley the old man from outside grabbed the trolley & asked me which way. He put Jovie in the car & packed my groceries away while I was managing Matilda. He came around and patted me on the back & walked away.

    I think if it weren't for him I would have disolved. I just can't believe people who have to judge you for a tantrum. Its so frustrating.


  2. #2

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    If only they could walk a day in your shoes Christy then they wouldn't be so damn judgemental. Thank goodness that man was there for you - what a lovely thing to do for you. I think you do THE most amazing job parenting Matilda and you should be given praise, not judgement.

    *hugs* for you hun, I hope your day gets better.

  3. #3

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    it's hard enough to deal with the tanties without putting up with other people passing judgement.
    I think you do an amazing job.

  4. #4
    paradise lost Guest

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    Christy. That mad old bat might not understand what you go through, what you put in, what you strive for every single day but we do. Fear is not respect, it is fear. When your girls are grown they will be beautiful strong people who do good because they know themselves inside and out to be good people. There are too many people in the world living in fear of something or other. Today the universe sent you a pat on the back for your success in not creating more fear. Here's a cyber too. You're bloody brilliant. Know it.

    Bx

  5. #5
    rolymogs Guest

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    ........
    Last edited by rolymogs; March 20th, 2008 at 10:24 AM.

  6. #6

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    Oh Christy, big hugs. I have tears in my eyes - I totally understand how you feel. I am now feeling guilty that we weren't able to catch up today (especially as Jack seems ok now - he has eaten a sandwich without throwing up and I can't get him to keep still ), it sounds like you could really use it. I hope your weekend without DH improves hun. Take heart in knowing that the lovely man is not the only one who thinks you are doing a fantastic job. Give me a call if you want (need?) a chat!

  7. #7

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    some ppl have no idea...im so glad that the man was there to give u a helping hand..good to know there are still some ppl like that out there!

    hope ur day improves hun

  8. #8

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    We all have had those sorts of days .

    Bugger the old bat abd good on the man for helping you,,

    I may not do gentle parenting but I don't smack my children willy nilly ( maybe once a week if that ) and I certainly do not want my children afraid of me.. You do not get respect that way

  9. #9

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    Sometimes humans leave me speechless.....

  10. #10

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    Yeah I can't get over the fact that she thought my child had to fear me. Thats the last thing I want. I would hate it if Matilda was afraid of expressing herself to me, afraid of letting go around me. I want more than anything that Matilda learn about her emotions and the best ways to get them out. We all have tantrums, I had one a few days ago its just learned the most acceptable way of dealing with your emotions and thast a huge lesson I'm still working on myself.

  11. #11

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    I just wanted to add, that I think it is really sad that more people aren't supportive in these situations. Where has the sense of community gone? I am lucky that my boys are good shoppers, but I know that when I have had a crying baby or a tantruming toddler, I am more stressed by what other people are thinking and how they are reacting, than I am about the situation itself. Wouldn't it be lovely if we lived in a world where people would always help us out and never criticise or give unsolicited (and usually terrible) advice?

  12. #12

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    MY Dh worries what other people think when we go shopping but I said to him.. they have all been there and done that so they should know whats going on... We get a few laughs but you get the older ones who stare and tsk tsk..

    I find the older ladies who smile and say it gets worse make me laugh, it brings a smile to my face as you know they went through the same thing and were reliving thier younger years.

  13. #13

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    Christy,
    We both have spirit girls and that scenario happens on a regular basis..although I am not juggling another infant. Big hugs hun, its difficult and so many times I have been told that DD needs a good smack it doesnt help.
    Big chukkas for the man ....nice to see there are good people around
    Bec

  14. #14

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    I don't know how ppl think whacking a kid who is having a tanty is going to help - most of the kids I have seen get smacked are in the middle of one and it never makes them stop!!

  15. #15

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    Christy know how you feel.

    I went through this yesterday at the shops with Kimberley screaming for a book and Alex throwing himself on the floor. I now try and walk with my head held high and hold back from crying as much as i can.

  16. #16

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    I've only had one rude comment so far and DS hates shopping, but loves people admiring him (like us all really!) so if the rude old woman had smiled at him instead he would have calmed down!

    Thing is, our babies are screaming because they want a sausage roll and old bats are whinging because there is a child... both are tantrumming in their own way. I like to picture the old women kicking the floor and laugh at them, they are behaving just as childishly as the children.

    Anyone who thinks childern should feel fear instead of love and acceptance... I feel sorry for them. Imagine being raised to fear your parents. And makingg your own children fear you. So little love in their lives, they try to take our happiness too. Poor, sad, alone them.

  17. #17

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    Oh Christy. I feel your pain, I really do. I think, in light of those other people, and the juggle with the girls and the trolley, that you stayed remarkably sane. Hugs to you babe. xx

  18. #18
    rolymogs Guest

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    ........
    Last edited by rolymogs; March 20th, 2008 at 10:24 AM.

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