Yep, I have a 4 1/2 half year old that whinges and fight whenever things aren't "just right". And of course, what is "just right" changes constantly, so I always do everything wrong.

I pick my battles. Like RhiChiChi I find that giving her limited options and letting her choose works a lot of the time. That and explaining that sometimes we all have to do things that we don't want to do, but crying/sulking/having a tantrum is not going to change anything. When all else fails, I just walk away (making sure she's safe of course).