Avoiding gender and sexuality 'norms'

[Salsa]

Yes - same school of thought here.
DS is now 5yrs. I think people now leave us alone about it, but for most of his first 4 yrs we got alot of comments. I used to dress him unisex clothes sometimes,)not skirts or love hearts but purple pants etc -coz so much boy stuff is sooo bland and predictable imo) but some people found it too weird. My mum found him a t-shirt wen he was about 2yrs, that said "tough guys wear pink". It was a pink T . Frankly I dont care if he`s a tough guy or not but I appreciated being able to put him in it iykwim.
He started ballet at 3yrs, and we got the 'gay' comments!?*#@$%@! As if the dancing might actually turn him gay!!!
I have let Ds take the lead in what toys he wants. He still plays tenderly with his babydoll, and when visiting a friends place recently he asked for the betty spagetti dolls to play with so I got them out for him. U get anoyed when I hear other people talk to him and they make comments that are gender specific, but I just try to balance that out with how we talk to him or i will even correct them - bluntly or jovial - depending how stupid their comments are.
Oh - and DS has long hair lol. And thats been and still is a problem for some - but its DS choice and he wants long hair.
The only thing we try to be sensitive about now that he is older is directing him away from something if its too girly ( not towards 'boy' stuff, but just away from the 'girls' )and he`s keen on it - but he is at the age where he is becoming away of gender differences too. He is aware that with his long hair and good looks, he doesnt want people to mistake him for a girl.

So, my son is sensitive and creative, he likes fairies and sparkly stuff , but his first choices will without a doubt be for lego and starwars etc - and thats because thats what he`s into by his own choices. If he shows an interest in something (such as wanting long hair, cooing over cute babies or a love of dance - or transformers, thomas tank engine and dinosaurs) then thats what we allow him to try out.

If we have a daughter we will bring her up the same way. I wont be dressing her in lots of pink etc, but if she gets shows an interest in it then we will allow some of that, but I think its great not to start out telling them what is expected of them.

Alot of people just are not comfortable with this kind of approach, but as I see it, males need to be free to express themselves and know who they are , not what they are.
In my opinion a man who is sexy is one who is confident in his sexuality and masculinity.

I hope I`m raising a son who will be a confident man, and a loving caring 'in tune' partner one day.


Sorry if this is quite long - but as you can see, its a subject I have alot of interest and feelings about!

I shoudl add, I read Nelles post above and perhaps I could have said the same thing as short as her - but yea, I agree that males and females are different, but let your little person be who they are going to be, not what anyone else makes you feel they should be.