I too am one of those who gets very little help. Dh cooks every night, but only because he has a very restricted diet. I do everything else pretty much. I pick up after the kids, him and I even find time usually to split the firewood for the night and take out the rubbish. I change bums, feed, etc. I seriously hate the fact that my house looks messy most of the time because I just don't have ten hands and I have two toddlers and a lil bub. I will step forward and say I had no idea Dh was like this before I married him. He always did most of the housework when we met and even when I moved in with him before we got married. Then I left work when I was 20+ wks preg with Kat (was doing too much heavy lifting etc) and he changed. I have the "Luxury" of being home during the day. And if I want him to do the housework, we can't go out on the weekend. I am stuck with three kids, not doing much outside the house, the weekends are the times I look forward to going out. So I just do the housework so things run smoother and we can do what we want on the weekends. I love my Dh and I love my kids. But sometimes I don't love my life. I feel like a slave to them all at times. But the happy times with them makes up for it all and now the girls can do a lot of stuff themselves, It's slowly getting better. Sometimes I feel I'd be better off without him, and in many ways I would. Even financially. But he does take some of the stress from me by playing with the kids for 15 mins or holding and keeping bry from screaming the house down long enough for me to get the bottle ready. I love seeing the bond between the kids and him. Even Bry looks at him with such love and adoration, I'd feel horrible taking them away from him.
He's stopped the putting me down and he's trying more with the kids etc. So I am happier than I was a few months ago when I was looking at leaving and getting advice etc.