This is definitely an issue most have something to say about.
I have to admit, my attitude towards my DH can change from one day to the next. He's generally pretty good. But he can also be very insensitive and unappreciative at times.
I consider myself a SAHM. but I am not really. Since DD was 7 months old, I have been going to work 1 day/week (we run our own business) and from day one, I have been woring from home a bit. I thought this would be easy. Boy was i wrong. I had no idea how much work a baby can be. Especially if you're into AP and have a "clingy" baby. I do consider the bulk of childrearing and housework as my job. Just like the bulk of our business is DH's job. But in the evenings, when he gets homw, the least he can do is keep DD amused so I can cook our dinner. And while I do her bed time routine, I don't consider it too much to ask, when I ask him to stack the dishwasher. He will ALWAYS do it if I ask him to. But he wouldn't think of it himself. In the mornings he now sometimes even empties the dishwasher. Which I love. Cause i cant do that while DD is awake, she just tries to climb into it. Lawn mowing is his job, too. And in the early days, walking the dog was, too. But now I usually take the dog and DD to the park during the day.
DH wasn't always this helpful. But a few months ago, DH was in charge of DD for a whole day (I can't remember what I was doing, probably the BAS) and then again the next morning. He realised how much work looking after her really was. He absolutely loved spending time with her. But he realised how little time he had to do any of the household chores. He had planned to clean the kitchen and vaccuum, but didn't get any of that done.
So I guess, I am pretty lucky. And I shouldn't nag... but sometimes it does get all too much and he's the only one I can ask for help, so I do nag him to do a little more... But he also gets up to go to work at 5:30am some days, and some days he doesn't get home til 8pm. And just like I only have 24 hours in a day, so does he.
I do really try to appreciate what he does and make a big fuss. like when he empties the dishwasher and takes out the rubbish in the morning, I often call him at work to thank him and tell him how much that made my morning easier. I know I like to be appreciated, so does he.

For Mother's Day, he got into trouble because he hadn't seen the need to get me anything ("Hey, you're not my mother, and Maya is too young to know what's going on anyway") But then he got me a card that read: Being a mum is aways easy, fun and carefree - no, wait, that's being a dad" I loved that.

Sasa