In this day and age...

[Bathsheba]

I agree that "luck has nothing to do with it" and that we choose the type of man we want in our lives or what is in our comfort zone (what our own fathers were like)... sometimes it's not a conscience decision but it's there, in the back of our minds when we make a choice to settle down with someone I think.

Fiona: well said darl Just need to spread a little love and I'll come back to that post of yours! LOL

I'm not lucky or fortunate to have a man who accepts that if there is work to be done at home (be it looking after the kids or cleaning etc) he will roll up his sleeve and just do it and do it well. I'm not lucky because I knew he would be this way the moment I first laid eyes on him! The moment we met he was ironing his hankies! No joke. Then for the year that we were platonic friends (before we got involved) I saw him cook many meals, vacuum, hang out washing, put away clutter, deal with pooey cat litters without a fuss and express a preference for a basic level of tidyness... not perfection, just environments that you wouldn't be ashamed to have people visit at a moments notice. This wasn't done to impress me. He didn't know that he was going to meet me the night he was ironing those hankies! It's just how he is. A normal, well adjusted individual that takes responsibilty for the mess he and his children and even I make. But he wasn't raised that way... he was largely self taught bless him!

I've been a SAHM for the last 5 years. My DH works in a very demanding management role in the finance industry... which is basically done at a desk. He freely admits that he is often tired when he comes home but that house work is not tiring because he often feels the need to do a bit of excercise anyhow (his favourite is hanging out the washing). Sometimes he stuffs up a bit and leaves a dirty nappy lying around after a change... but it generally doesn't bother me... i tell him about it, he apologises, we move on.

Great thread Jordie.