Hi - I'm not sure if I read this or someone told me, but if you are saying no to something, then give them an alternative that they can touch or do.

Cait is nearly four now and I find that if I'm going somewhere with the potential to misbehave (just about anywhere!) I set some rules down before we leave home or get out of the car and explain the consequences if she does not do as she's told. And I ask her to repeat things that I've just said.

I learnt this from teaching rounds with the preps, I went to great lengths to tell them how we would be getting ready to go to the library, about being quiet on the walk up, but not about what to do once we got there ... once we did get there they went psycho, there was tears and blood and mayhem !

I have a sister who is 16 years younger than me and I used to smack her when we were both at home and she used to come back with 'that didnt hurt' which just made me want to smack her harder. As a result of this I don't smack Cait now and try to keep the yelling to a minimum. For a while, 'angry face' worked - I used to put on this stern head if she starting playing up, but she's over that now.

I did the mother of all yells about a year ago when she got into my jewellery and I found an earing in every room, necklaces in the bathroom sink .. that sort of thing ... and Cait remembers that yell !

Barb.