Dealing with the toddler 'NO!'

[Just Me]

I don't like the power struggle that gets set up with 'no' which is why I turn it into a game. I don't want to fight them and so I find it breaks the ice a bit if I don't rise to the challenge. I also think it doesn't leave them with the idea that something isn't going to happen because they said no. It plants the idea that it is happening just not in a way that is forceful. There are times that I don't have a choice whether they yell no or not - like when it is time to go home from somewhere and they say no. I give them more time if I can, but sometimes we have to go so I do the whole 'ye-eah' thing and then explain to them why we need to leave - 'The shops are closing and it's time to go' or 'DD2 needs to sleep and we need to get home'. It usually works pretty well but it isn't foolproof (nothing in parenting ever is) but it is a good tool for the kit

[Fleur]

Pie is 22 months, will be 2 at the end of next month.

We have tried making a game of putting things away & sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't... Really it's just the 'no' thing in general though, like Just Me said, I don't want to make it into a power struggle. It's very hard to reason with her at the moment though, a lot of things she understands but she is still a toddler!

Getting dressed - I do offer choices but that's not working, she will pick one but when I go to put it on, she yells & kicks. So we go to the other option & get the same thing. It's like making the choice is just a way of delaying (for her) - it's all good until it's time to do it. At the moment we are at the stage where we try to do it nicely but when that fails I just have to struggle & fight to get her dressed, especially on a work morning, and I hate it.

She's pretty stubborn though and I think it's just going to be a part of who she is... we will just have to find a way of dealing with it

BAL - you've been around here enough, I'm suuuure you've seen her chuck a wobbly! Maybe I will wait until you come over to get her dressed next time, she'll probably be a little angel

[Miss E]

I haven't read all the posts, so sorry if I'm repeating stuff...

We've been getting a lot of this lately. I'm finding that giving a couple of warnings first is really working (eg. soon we're going to have to get dressed, have a bath, pack up etc etc). I still get the 'no's' but he's prepared for it. Then I say ok, I'm going to count to 10 and then it will be time to do x, y, z. Quite often I get 'no, no' while we're counting, but by the time we get to ten he's up and off to do whatever it is we're trying to get done. And the other good part of it is he's beginning to get the idea of what counting is about as part of it.

I can't quite remember if it was that easy when we started this approach though, I think I might have had to force it once or twice once we got to 'ten', but I have found that the warnings and preparation makes such as difference and he now knows that when I say 'I'm going to count to 10 and then we're going to do this, that's whats going to happen iykwim'

ANyway, that's what's working for us this week....

ETA: Just wanted to clarify when I say warnings, it's about preparation that this is coming not 'if you don't do this' and the counting is more of a game, ie I don't ask before I start counting it's just part of the prep iykwim?