DS has been planting for most of last year and he's pretty good with plants. The only problem we encounter is over-enthusiasm for the watering can. We stroke leaves too. In fact, if DS sees a broken branch now he gets upset. "Oh no, there's a tree fallen down."

You can ask your DS if he likes the flowers. By hitting the plants, they won't want to flower for him. Isn't that sad? It makes Daddy sad too, because he likes flowers too. That's why Daddy is upset when he sees you hitting plants. The plants can't move out the way or defend themselves like you can, so it's really, really mean to hit plants.

That way you are explaining the consequence and how the consequence affects other people too. The consequence isn't "Daddy is cross", that's a consequence of the consequence.

As for pets - most of them just get out of DS's way. But he learnt very early on to be gentle with the local cats when petting them because I showed him - and the cats showed him if they didn't like it by refusing to play with him. Don't force your dogs onto a lead, give them the choice. Explain to your DS that the dogs don't want to play with him when he does this because it upsets the dogs.

And you can always ban him from playing with things until he demonstrates to you he can do it properly. I know you don't want him constantly toe-ing a line but he HAS to learn to respect authority else what will he do if his boss just tells him "don't press that button" and doesn't explain? Be inquisitive and curious or know to do as he's told and ask for an explaination when there's more time. Some compliance is a good thing, that doesn't mean never changing or inquiring.