Ok, had to do some revision - read over some Toddler Tactics recently and had conversations with friends of similarly aged children...feeling far more normal now, and like we've been using the same stick to self-flagellate it would appear the consensus is that Y chromosome!
Getting back on track with my parenting. Being oppositional with DS was never my style and now that I've had a go at it, I realise it's not working anyway. Time to turf it from my 'toolbox', it's maladaptive! Since I have had this reassertion of my previous parenting values, things are actually improving. Helps that the weather has cooled off for a a bit, too...