I think i see routine differently. I don't think routine is a set of things DD should/could/will do. THey are a set of things I do, so that she can predict what will happen next and se she can feel secure. There is no force involved with that.

I began my bedtime routine when DD was 5 weeks old because by then she was a good enough feeder that her patterns had settled a good bit. The routine was just bath/feed/story/bed. It still works 24 months on to let her know bedtime is nigh and for her to feel relaxed about that. SOmetimes she falls asleep instantly and sometimes she lies looking at a story book for 20mins but she doesn't cry or make a fuss and goes to bed happy and secure that bedtime is ok and tomorrow will come soon enough.

My only advice re_ routines is to make routines FOR YOU. I have 3 kinds of "day" with DD. I have the sort of day when we go for a run at breakfast time (2-3 times a week) the sort when we don't go running but go to feed the ducks in later morning (1-2 times a week) and the sort when we go to organised toddler groups then on to see friends etc. (1-2 times a week). DD knows by a million things what sort of day it is. My routine isn't about MAKING her do something, it's about letting her know what is happening next. From that POV routines can be a security tool, a kindness, for a child.

Don't worry about other people's opinion. If someone says "is he a good baby?" then reply "He's PERFECT!" and if they then say "But does he sleep through?" reply "I just SAID he's perfect" and give them a look like they're an idiot. Then you need not get into their idea of what "good" means.