Friggen over it.... bedtime battles.....

[BellyBelly]

Lijie is very very easy to put to bed, Marisa has always been a nightmare. I let them stay up a little late tonight as we've been packing and cleaning to move, but no matter what, last night, tonight, its a freaking nightmare. Last night all was fine then all of a sudden her toe hurt, waterworks city and cried and cried until I got her a bandaid, which I did, then she cried herself to sleep. I was in the bed with them, in my bed, amazingly Elijah fell asleep and stayed asleep.

Tonight, Elijah went to sleep again, but when I went to get up to go, desperate for some peace and quiet, she told me she was going to get up with me, I of course said no, its so late... then she went onto the i'm scared thing, so I opened the door wide and turned on the light in the hall... but shes loudly crying herself to sleep and I am about to lose it. I am so over it, over the tears going to sleep, I just want to yell and scream. I so desperately want them to get into a nightly routine but she makes it hell. Says she's not tired all the time and doesnt want to sleep. Hell she even just got up now and said she's thirsty and is standing in the hallway bawling. Gonna go put her back to bed. I am just SO SO SO angry and frustrated, I get so tired and NO time to myself at night, this is a joke.

[*oli's*mrs*]

MY DD2.5 does the whole crying game! i kno how frustrating it can be, i console her ect but theres never anything WRONG!
i'd read n leave her lamp on and the minute im out she starts, so i tried this once and it works & btw is my last resort, its my new tool 4 the moment until it stop working but ne i say "put ur shoes on u can go outside to cry with the bugs" bit mean i kno but seriously instant silence... an minutes later snoring...
maybe u could try something like that?? GL

[widdly]

aaarrrrggghhhhh, Kelly i am so with you!! We re moving on Wednesday ad i am dreading it cause Archie's sleeping is bad enough as it is without moving him to a whole new house, without his Dad!! He is only 2.5, yet he knows exactly which of my buttons to press come bed time. I want a drink then drinks the drink as slowly as is possible. Im hot, but cries when i take the doona off him. I wanna sleep in mum and dads bed, then wants to get back into his bed. Im not tired, as he struggles to keep his eylids apart.

It is never ending. The only way to get him to happily go to sleep is to let him stay up late and go to bed with me. I am going insane without the me time at night, and soon we are gonna have to getup to an alarm at 7am, so him staying up til 10pm isn't gonna cut it.....

I have no suggestions for you, but want you to know that your not the only mum sitting on the couch at midnight resisting the urge to run away......

I will be keeping a eye on this thread to see if you get some useful suggestions. GL

[Tinsel]

Oh hun, big hugs Here's hoping your bedtime battles get better soon.

We have bedtime battles with DD now and she is one so please don't tell me it can go on for years

Wishing you some sleep and time out soon.

[BellyBelly]

Thanks guys.... she is 6.5 so its driving me bonkers but she does have anxiety issues and I kinda feel bad, but I am also angry at myself for losing my temper. I have always been so patient but I am getting so much worse these days I dont know why. I guess I should also consider they just got back from interstate with their dad for two weeks, along with all the separation stuff and moving house... I love my daughter to bits but damn she is just so clingy with me. Need my space to let my mind rest feel so claustraphobic and the mind wont stop when they are awake...

[westy]

Oh Kelly :hugs:

I'm so sorry that your having such a hard time at the moment....take a few deep breaths!

I would probably give Marisa the drink of water she so desperately needs then quite sternly tell her it's now time for bed and she must stay there....if she keeps getting out for what ever reason she does put her back and again tell her it's bedtime, keep doing this until she stays in her bed.

Have you asked her if everything is ok, maybe she is also a little stressed with the move etc and is having trouble sleeping because she is worried...oh i really dont know but i hope for you things improve dramatically and fast.

[BellyBelly]

She had a big drink before she went to bed, I got her the water and she was just sipping it GRRRR

I did say what was bothering her, she said she was scared and didn't want me to leave... but I can't be by her side until she goes to sleep every night its too hard, she takes a while to unwind. Offered her a book to read, bear/doll (she never has had a comfort item ever, so doesn't really help)

When she would get up I would tell her to go back but she would just stand in the hall and cry louder. ArgHHHH!!! I will try something else tomorrow night. Just flipped through the Science of Parenting in the bedtime section and will try that.

[diva det]

Awww Kelly- my DD is so much like your DD when i comes to sleep- it was 12.30 the other nite and b/c its school hols and she is not metally tired- most nites it is at least 10.30!!!

My DD is an absolute nightmare to get to sleep- if she starts to get tired early and i miss the opportunity to put her to bed i am a goner and she is up till all hours!!
Things that have worked for me over the years are:

Stroking her head until she goes to sleep- once she loses it- then it is impossible to get her to sleep- stroking her head keeps her calm

An eye mask- sounds freaky i know, but she can still have a light on, but the sensorial stimulation is taken away and more chance to go to sleep

Playing her leapster- these have been fantastic- esp when she is 'not tired' she can play her game in bed quietly by herself for hours and i at least get a break and she gets some quiet time- btw i got her kids headphones with them- they are a gem as well. Also her looking at books tends to make her sleepy as well, and go to sleep with books open!

We ended up taking away after school activites for her for a while until she started going to sleep at a good time. This worked really well for a bit as she wanted to do the activities so she tried that bit harder!

New bedding- a new doona, pillow and underlay that she chose herself made her bed more comfy the way that SHE wanted!!

If i remember right Marissa is going to school this year???? You will notice a big difference then! MY DD his pretty smart for her age as well, and if she doesnt get enough mental stimualation througout the day- she just does not get tired enough to switch off at nite!!!! Their little minds have trouble turning off and its hard to teach them to do so!!

Hang in there- the more you stress, the more she will!! Plus you guys are obviously going through heaps of changes at the moment and she would be picking up on them tooo!

Take care hon and keep sane!!!!!
odette

[BellyBelly]

Thanks hon, she was at school this year, I guess it could be a holidays thing too, they aren't as mentally stimulated. So frustrating, Elijah passes out so quick and likes it dark, she likes the light on and takes forever!!!

[westy]

Kelly....do you know if she has been like this for the last two weeks while she has been at her Dad's ?

You asked her what was wrong and she said scared but did she say what she was scared of ?

[BellyBelly]

Scared of the dark

I think they had lots of late nights while they were away, I highly highly doubt they had any routine, so they would have gone to bed when they said they were tired (exhausted). Elijah usually starts asking for bed if he's not been put to bed by 9pm. I guess its all about getting back into routine. They stayed up for NYE too apparently, although Elijah passed out lol.

[Astrolady]

Kel. We are having issues with Kameron going to sleep of late too and there is nothing major going on in his life. At 8pm we say "c'mon mate, toilet, teeth, bed, then he does the whole whingy whiney, thing of I'm not tired blah blah blah" he only does this when he is over tired. He also has to do the "I want a drink" etc once in his room.

Just to get him to go to bed, we've been telling him that he can do whatever he wants to do as long as he is in bed. It might be reading, drawing or playing cars as long as he is on his bed we don't care. He will normally fall asleep doing whatever it was he was doing, so we go in there and pack it away and turn the light out when we go to bed.

We're just glad Lachlan likes the light on to go to sleep since they share a room lol.

[westy]

Hoepfully once everything settles down and you can get back into a routine everything will be ok ....if she is still unsettled maybe try a night light in her room, that is if you haven't already done so.

Kathryn, thats a great idea might be something worth trying with Marissa ,Kelly.

Is she still awake and crying now?

[AngelPunks]

Kel
you know the glow sticks, the ones you can make into bracelets - maybe hanging a few of those over her bed may help her with the dark issue - I know it worked with my DSS when he used to come and visit, he was in the bunk, so we used to put a couple up along the bar at the top and then I'd put one on each step down for him.

If I was down there, I'd come over and help you, so you could get some breathing space to yourself.

She's probably just really disrupted with spending time with their dad and also with you packing.

Sending lots of love and hugs to you!

[tiggerandpooh]

big kelly The joys of single motherhood, moving house, and reestabilshing routine... so much fun!! Have you tired rescue remedy with her? It may help the anxiety. Don't be too hard on yourself hun - you are HUMAN - not super human. You have a hell of a lot going on - massive massive change for you, and your children. You are going to lose your temper - your not a robot. wrap your arms around your little girl, say I'm sorry, mummy has a lot of things going on her head at the moment, and she is trying to think, I didnt mean to lose my temper, I love you lots.

As for the ongoing bedtime dramas - after I split from my big kids father, and things were getting on top of me, I read a book called Boundaries with Kids: When to Say YES, When to say NO, to help your children gain control of their lives. It changed how I parent - and all the "things" I was having issues with them about.

I hope that things settle down soon hun, and then the rythm and routine of your home returns soon.

[BellyBelly]

Awww ta Schaz hon x

I ended up sitting on the end of the bed and reading til she fell asleep, but I dont think I can expect much while everything is so crazy. I really needed to vent though lol

Thanks everyone for your advice and support... a few things to try now so all good. I'm putting them into holiday care from Tuesday cos I need to work so hope that helps them a bit. It's hard to work with them around. Better go to sleep, lashed out and got a cleaner to come tomorrow morning to help me, the cupboards need a good clean out now they are empty and all that, so looking forward to it, she's gonna start at 7am tho so will look like awful I am sure

Thanks ladies sleep well xx

[AngelPunks]

rescue remedy also do a sleep version which used to work on DH whenever I could get him to take it - I'm about to go and take some now - i'm bouncy from doing ritual tonight under the moonlight

Kel - could you try some meditation practices with her, even get her to lie there and feel her breath go into her body, let her imagine it flowing all around her body and then blowing it out, as she blows it out she can imagine all the ikky bad stuff coming out.

[LimeSlice]

I dont know if this would work, but if she is scared of you leaving and likes when you read to her, could you read a few books she likes onto a CD or tape and put them on when you put her to bed? So that she can listen to mummy even though you cant being there with her?

I have nothing! lol

I hope it gets better for you really soon, you need some space and time to yourself, I hope you get it soon! In the meantime have a