I stopped feeding DS at night when he stopped feeding to sleep. Two weeks later when he woke up, I picked him up, my bed, pat to sleep - no dice. Screamed at me instead. So I put him in his bed and patted - back to sleep. Happened a few times. Now he screams blue murder if I get in his bed or try to put him in mine - or he assumes it’s playtime. Not good. When he’s really in pain he snuggles into me and goes back to sleep (I have to pick him up and cuddle him because he’s so upset) so I take him to bed with me and we sleep fine for the rest of the night. But that’s not common; he prefers to be on his own now usually.
DS always started the night in his bed, alone, just so DH and I could get some us-time before we went to bed and he’s so wriggly he would have fallen out of our bed if we’d put him to bed there.
Transitioning. For the first 6m DS was in a moses basket in our room. Then we went on holiday to my mum’s house, cot in our room. Then when we went home we figured we’ve got him in a cot (he was going to sleep in our arms at that point), keep it up. So DS and I moved into the Nursery and DH moved back into our room. When he stopped co-sleeping I started sleeping in the sitting room with the monitor, then after Christmas (we were at my mum’s again and so DH and I had to sleep together due to space) I moved back into our bedroom.
DS has a cot-bed and we’ll be taking the bars down… maybe Easterish. When we KNOW he’s sleeping through properly (so maybe earlier) and so he can get out of bed in the morning and not wake us up. He’s trying to climb INTO bed at night now; he never tries to climb out! We don’t want to do it right now as when we visit Mum she has a cot so that won’t work, but it will have to be before Easter really because then he’ll be too big for her cot and so will be in a bed at her house, we want that OK and normal before we visit. So around his second birthday I suppose.
My co-sleeping journey has been a fractured and strange one, but i've loved it and it works for us!
From birth DD theoretically slept in a cot, the foot of which was butted up against the side of my bed next to my pillow. In reality she had some of her day sleeps in there (some in the wrap on either mine or XP's chest), and was put in there "to bed" at 8pm every night. She woke for a feed at about 11-midnight and because i brought her into bed then to BF, she slept in with me until morning.
From about 3 months she began to be a bit wriggly if i kept her in bed after the 5am feed, so she slept in the cot from 8pm to mindnight, then in with me midnight to 5am then in the cot 5am to 8am then back in with me for a morning feed and cuddle....miss those days
At 4 months i left her dad and we moved to a new flat. She slept 8pm-5am (spontaneously began skipping the midnight feed) in her cot and then 5am to 9am (lazy mumma! ) in my bed.
At 6 months i moved her cot to her own room for personal reasons (i had a new DP who i didn't want spending too much time with her until i was more sure of our future, i almost never had him there when she was there, but i knew if i DID i felt it inappropriate for her to co-sleep with a man who wasn't her father, but equally i NEVER NEVER wanted her to feel that i'd kicked her out of the bed for the night to have him in it - in fact in the first year we were together, after which i began letting them spend more time together, she and he were there simultaneously only twice!) but i still brought her into bed with me 5am-9am every morning.
At 7 months i stopped BFing for a medical reason. I offered her a bottle of FF at 5am but she wasn't interested, so clearly she wanted the boobie/cuddles more than the milk. She began sleeping 8pm to 8am. Most nights she slept through, very occasionally she woke and i brought her in with me.
At 22months i put her into a big bed but left her cot up so she could go between (we'd had to take bars out of her cot at 14months when she learned to climb out - i just put a babygate over her doorway so she couldn't roam in the night) them. At 25 months i put the cot away for good.
She's 31months now. She's great Most nights she sleeps in her own room. Some nights she wakes and comes into my room. My rules are fair but firm - if she lies down with me and sleeps she can stay, if she messes about, chats, potters or otherwise disturbs my sleep and hers, she is put back to bed. Obviously if she's upset or ill or crying she can stay with me no matter how much it disturbs me! I never have nights of crying over this arrangement, she knows i mean business and seems cool with how things are.
Last night she came running in at almost-4am screaming "JAGGY NEEDLES! JAGGY NEEDLES!" at full volume. Uh-oh, i thought, bad dream. I sat up. I'd gone to bed at 9pm with a migraine, so i was a bit foggy. "QUICK MAMA!" she yelled "JAGGY NEEDLES! INNA KITCHEN!" By now i'm pretty confused. "Jaggy needles?" i ask. "NO" she replies. THe penny drops. "CHICKEN NOODLES!?" i demand. "Ok!" she replies and sprints off towards the kitchen. I call her back, "DD, it's FOUR AM, there are no chicken noodles and if there were you wouldn't be eating them at this hour. NOw get in bed and go to sleep!" She climbs in reluctantly. I snuggle her up against me. She nods off, muttering under her breath "wanna chicken noodles now mama, ok, oh fanks!"...LOL We woke this morning at 8am (blissfully late for her nowadays!) and bundled up together. Lovely.
Hoobley, LOL at the jaggy needles in the middle of the night.
I co-slept with DD full time until she was 6 months (in a sling during the day, until around 3 months) and crawled out of my bed giving herself a black eye. I felt soooo guilty. Bought a cot the same day.
For the next 6 months she slept in her bed until around midnight, then came in for a feed and slept with us til 8 or 9am. She also took her day sleeps in her cot. At around 9 months she started waking more and mor frequently so I decided to move the cot into her own room and settle her without a feed most times. She then slept in her cot until around 5 am (with a midnight snack) after which she came in with us until around 7:30am. We still do this just that she now has her snack some time between 12am and 3am and some nights she doesn't wake up at all, sleeping through from 7pm-6am, the sleeping with us until 7am. I loooove those nights.
I don't think there is a problem with co-sleeping, as long as it is working for you. I only tend to address a problem when it is just that: a problem. If it's just about other people not approving, they can kiss my behind.
You could try a single bed next to yours to get some extra space for your wriggly toddler. Or a mattress on the floor. Or why don't you put a mattress on the floor in his room, then lay down with him for a few days so he gets used to it. Maybe he doesn't mind it if he's not in baby jail??? It took DD a while to get used to her cot. She still doesn't like being in it when she's awake. But these days, if she's tired, she can go to sleep in it on her own. That doesn't mean that she'll always play along, though ;-)
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) in my bed.
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