I second (or whatever we're up to now) The No-Cry Sleep Solution. It helped me come up with some ideas (for my older son, I'm just muddling along with another non-sleeper now). She's a bit too hard core about the way they go to sleep first time at night setting the tone for the rest of the night- it's rubbish because my fed-to-sleep baby started sleeping through the night while still being fed-to-sleep.

But I used her methods to help me teach my son to self-settle during the day (at about 9-10 months old). I was feeling over touched and ready to throw him across the room with all the work I was going through getting him to sleep. I modified the pull off method to a put down-pick down method of rocking him to sleep then putting him down almost asleep, picking him up when he cried and then doing it again. It took about 2 hours to get him down the first week and it was killing me but eventually he got it and he started self settling for his day sleeps and I was a new happy mum again. I tried a bunch of comfort toys too and he attached to a muslin blankie and a musical pull-toy on his cot.

Then at about 14-16 months old I started night weaning. My aim was to feed only twice a night but he caught on quickly and went to one feed a night then a couple of months later started sleeping through.

You will get there but if you're struggling this much I would start doing something as a protective mechanism.