Positive reinforcement. Consistency. Communication. Preemptive parenting. Not a smiley happy tone when enforcing boundaries, but not a screaming banshee one either. I have never been big on distractions as for me and people around me that used them it's never worked. It might work sometimes but eventually it doesn't as they realise what you are trying to do. That and it doesn't actually teach anything. And I personally wouldn't like to be distracted if I was doing a certain thing, to me I would feel insulted and I've seen little kids act in a way that to me says they are feeling the same way. But this is just my experiences. And we did use distraction as a tool when they were babies.

It's really hard to know exactly what I do/did every time. Examples are so important I know. But I do believe that our outcomes with parenting are due to the fact we are engaged parents not just when setting boundaries or dealing with certain behaviours but 24/7. I think that contributes to a lot. We have always been engaged in our children's lives from a young age. And I think that leads to a mutual respect so that when boundaries are set they do respect you and your reasons. Even now with my nearly 4 year old he will often tell me what the consequences of his actions are trying to teach him and how his actions affect others and how he would feel in reverse before I even have to say anything. And this helps him take responsibility for his actions and find solutions and replacement behaviours.

But I just want you to know this. There is NO quick fix. Smacking isn't a quick fix (although you may feel there is an instant response or feel satisfaction instantly), engaged parenting or gentle parenting or PET isn't a quick fix. All forms of parenting styles take time. And setting boundaries isn't something that you can just do buy saying No once and then they get it. It takes a LONG time for them to get it. And I think when you realise that your expectations lower and you don't stress out as much.