Thanks for your respones.

Kelly I completley agree that some of her behaviours I find very challenging now are actually character traits that will do her well in the future - no less frustrating now though LOL.

My DH told me that when he was putting her to bed last night she asked for me and he told her I was feeding the baby. Her response was "No, mummy not feed Liam". So i think alot of her behaviour is a jealousy thing. DS has been feeding all the time latley. I do wear him in a sling but then she just gets jealous that he is on me.

Even though her actions are explainable it doesn't really make them acceptable. That is what I am struggling with. yesterday she hit the dog with a cup, and I told her that we don't hit the dogs and before I could stop her she was chasing the dog and trying to hit her again. Poor dog was trying to hide under the table. It didn't stop till I could lock the dogs outside. Today, she kept trying to hit the baby and eventually got him when I took my eyes off him for a second.

I do things like take toys off her, and even her 'blanky' when its a really naughty thing. But on days like the last couple she either just laughs or has a massive tantrum. Either way, the punishment has no effect.

I will go and read the articles Kelly suggested and re-read my toddler tactics book. See if I can find something!!