Well I have finally had some real success with my DD. After trying everything I am now doing a kind of 'time in' thing with her. If she is doing something she is not suppose to, I take her to her bedroom, sit with her and talk to her about why she is not suppose to do it and her feelings about what made her do it. Something like: Were you upset that mummy was cuddling your brother, is that why you threw the toy'. She would say yes, I tell her its ok to feel upset but its not ok to throw things, if she wants a cuddle as well to ask me. Then we have a cuddle, a walk out of the room together. Taking her to the bedroom makes her focus on what I am saying and the one on one makes her feel better.

It hasn't fixed all behaviours, but I have had dramatic improvement in only a week. She trusts me now to listen to 'her side'. Its amazing. But it is something a fight with. Having been raised myself by the do it because I said so style, sometimes I have to really remind myself that, that is not how I will parent.

Hopefully this will continue to work, and her trust in me to do the right thing by her will get even stronger.