sex-phone man: reallllly old dude in y-fronts in the apartment block opposite ours used to call up sex-lines late at night and being brisbane on summer nights i used to have my window open (curtains close thankgoodness!) and he used to have his sliding door open and all i could hear on many many nights was: 'oh yeahh?' 'oohhhh yeaaaaahh?" "uh huuuuhh" "oohhhhh". Like in proper dirty old man voice. he was incredibly hairy. My bestie and I once copped a full view as we crawled home after a party one night.

Crazy "C": this chick here in melbourne, man. we lived in a terrace that shared a wall. this girl was MEGA full on. she would sing her little heart out and really really believed that she was awesome...maybe she was...but with a daily start time of 3am it was a *tad* excessive. She would also have very exuberant love-making. thankfully her room was running alongside the other wall and so we only heard it all when her door was open. but our other poor neighbour on the otherside who was/is an insomniac really truly suffered through the sessions. and one night at 1am knocked on their door and begged them to please keep having fun, but please please please keep it a bit more quiet

The Nudists: self explanatory really. nude in their house ALL THE TIME.

The Opera Singer: we lived next door to an opera singer. I used to think that she practised in the loo for the acoustics. but then one day i heard the flush and realised that her singing actually accompanied her bowel movements.