Oh Ruth - well, i'll give you an overview of our story and maybe that will help...........

This baby wasnt planned. In fact, we were trying NOT to fall pregnant as I was terrified of having another miscarriage. We weren't using any contraceptions - was relying on charting. I wanted to have a few (maybe 6) months worth of charts to take to the FS, as I was sure taking depo a few years back had screwed me up.

Anyway - I fall pregnant! Terrified, I go back to my doc who sends me straight off to "the best of the best" obs in sydney. The ob fits me in within 2 weeks (though to see him as an FS I had to wait almost 6 months for an appointment).

DH was with me for the first visit - I was in there for about 5-10 mins. He had a quick look over me and said that "everything seems fine, we will take it from here..... which hospital do you want to birth your baby at?". I had no bloody idea WHERE - all I could think of was IF. SO I dint really feel that all my concerns were addressed (he is a lovely gentleman though).

So as we walk out to make our next appointment (not for another month, no further testing, I felt so damn helpess) they hand me the fee schedule. DH's eyes nearly fell out of his head.

Ob tells me that the hospitals birthing centre doesnt take appointments till you hit 20 weeks and that I would have to wait till then to book in. Even then I knew I didnt want a hospital birth, it would be my last resort.

So, I ploddle along to my appointments when once the obs wasnt there (OK, I understand that he has to go to birht babies, thats all good, but LET ME KNOW???!!! Each time thereafter I rang before I left work just to make sure)...... All is going OK, at thispoint kinda over having to leave work in themiddle of the day and then make up the time, especially when having to wait past your appointment time to see the ob.

Then I made DH sit down and watch the business of being born. This was a turning point for him. I strongly suggest you get your hubby to watch it! Kelly has copies for sale I believe.

We watched this just before I was due to give my very exxy payment to the ob. Really made me think! So I ditched the ob and went back to my doctor to see if he would take me on for shared care. He was fine with that. I call the birthing centre (at 20 weeks) - they are already full. But I am first on the waiting list, they say it should probably be fine, they always have someone who cancels..... hoping like mad someone else chickens out and wants drugs! LOL

Get to 29 weeks - call the birthing centre to see how we are going - nope I wont get in.

Major turning point for me here. I cant book into a hospital! DH has white collar syndrome and is sure most doctors have no idea what they are doing, especially after seeing TBOBB there is no way I would have a calm birth in hospital, he would be screaming down everyone's throats, if someone tried to cut the cord too early I know he would jump over the bed and pin them to the floor! (or he would just faint)..... NOT an ideal situation!

He knew all along that I wanted to be away from the hospital and totally respected that - so this is when we decided to interview a few homebirth MW's - As soon as the first one walked out the door he said "call the others and tell them not to bother honey - she is perfect"............. can you imagine feeling so calm and confident in your caregiver after just chatting to them for a while? Such a great feeling. We still met one more (who was almost just as awesome - we just felt more of a connection with the first, like she is kinda like us as in the type of people we are) who we have as our backup midwife. We didnt want to meet anymore as we felt so secure with the first. Never felt like that about the ob!

So now, we are all looking forward to it, DD is going to make a film and we have been showing her youtube vids of babies being born, I ask her what she thinks and she just shrugs it off and says "its just natural". DH is calm and happy because he knows about the nasty intervention rates in hospital and all else taht comes along with it (hey you 5 minute old baby, lets give you a couple of jabs!!), feels confident in our MW and knows I am much more comfortable at home - therefore much stronger mentally to birth this little on naturally!

Oh - and if you look into it - provided you have a normal, healthy low risk pregnancy, the stats show that you are much SAFER at home, in a relaxed environment, to have your baby, than in the hospital.

Wow I was going to make this brief!

Seriously - get him to watch TBOBB as your first step - it will open your eyes and make you question instead of accept...........................

GL!!!

XXX