Hi,
I haven't had a home birth and am not planning one. I had a similar argument with my DH because I wanted to give birth in a birth centre. Everybody he knew was having their babies in private hospitals. And when he told friends and family that we were expecting, the first question was: who's your OB? He felt like we weren't getting the same level of care, as we "only" had a midwife looking after us. I spent the first half of my pregnancy quoting statistics to him about intervention rates in hospitals and all the risks involved. Ultimately, he was going to support my choice, but he wasn't happy with it.
It all changed once he met our midwife. He realised how much time she spent with me and how what a great service she provided. All of a sudden, he was completely on my side.
I ended up having a beautiful all natural waterbirth in the birth centre. My midwife was fantastic after the birth, too. And now those same friends and family are speechless when they hear that she spent up to 5 hours a day at my place for the first week of our daughters life. Who got the better care now?
Shortly after the birth of our daughter, DH said to me that if I want to have a homebirth next time around, then he'd be all for it. He lost his fear of birth. He now really understands what a beautiful and natural process it is. For us, a homebirth is not a financially viable option. And I am very happy to use the same midwife again for bub #2 who is due in June.
So I guess, try and let him experience it as best as possible through watching birthing videos with him. I agree with the others, The Business of being born is a good place to start.

Most men are scared of birth. It is a mystery they are not privvy to. As a woman, we feel we have some level of control over it. But for men, it is just plain scary. As you know yourself, your DH's arguments about his own birth are ridiculous. But don't tell him that. Instead, try to make him understand that the life threatening situation he was in was actually caused by the hospital, rather than being prevented by it. Yes, hospitals are well equipped to handle emergencies. Most of which have been caused by the same system.

To make him feel better about the idea of a homebirth, it would be a good idea talking to a homebirth midwife and explainingto him all the backup options that are going to be in place. She acn then explain to him how she would react and what steps she would take should a complication arise.

I hope you will get the birth you wish for. I do agree with one of the previous posters regarding on whether it is a joint decision or not. i also felt that, although this is his child, too, it is you who has to give birth to it, so you should do it in an environment you feel comfortable in.

All the best, Sasa