Tegan, why dont you look into calmbirthing or hypnobirthing classes to help deal with your fears? I agree that it can be the most gentle, beautiful way to bring a baby into the world but if you cant deal with your own fear and anxieties then its not the best place to give birth... we all know what too much adrenaline does.

You have time up your sleeve, meet some IM's, attend the homebirth conference if you can (Sheila Kitzinger there this year) and try some classes as above. Knowledge, information and support is power.