I thought that my subscription to this thread must of dropped off seeing i havent seen any new posts.....but you have all just gone quiet.....

I had a pap smear yesterday (lovely - not) but it was with a really nice OB that was public when i had DSs homebirth, so i saw her for the booking in stuff, she was so nice then and supportive. She went private when i had DD3 and her practise wouldnt 'let" her support a homebirth....one of the many hurdles that lead us to making dumb decisions.....anyway i was late having my pap by about a year as i just could not face someone 'down there' after DD3s birth. But this OB remembered me and was lovely again and we talked about DD3s birth, she was so sorry id had a shocking time and was so disappointed after knowning id had three beautiful births before that. SO she said that if i go again she will find a way to support me. Even if that has to be in the private hospital with her as the private OB doing it MY way..... It helps but really not sure if i can face all that again. Seems so sad to not have a child my whole life because im am too scared to face another pregnancy and birth like DD3s.......

anyway just my ramblings...

Belly rubs to all of those due so soon!