Homebirth General Discussion #10

[BellyBelly]

6th Aug hun. First two were 38+5 and 39+4, but babies can do whatever they feel like, may end up with a 42+2 lol! New partner this time too

[HomeStyleMumma]

Jen- thanks I knew there was another doco out there but couldn't remember what it was... Can't get FOB on fishpond though!

Kelly- the last few weeks are so exciting/nerve racking/tiring/frustrating/uncomfortable & still lovely knowing you're so close to meeting you're new one, I hope you're feeling better soon. Just one more reason to totally chill out now but I guess

[Ree*Ree]

Hello ladies! Officially poking my head in here now yay!
Had an ultrasound today at 8w2d and saw our sweet little turtle wiggling away happily and measuring spot on on for dates. Due in early March, I'm just filling in the application for the Community Midwifery Program in WA now.

Just have to have a wee vent whilst I'm here - when I told the IVF doctor that I wouldn't be needing an Ob referral because we are planning to home birth, he proceed to throw his head back and laugh! Like he'd just heard the funniest joke of his life! No comments, just laughter. I was so thrown I didn't say anything, but DH and I were just shocked! Gah, I don't want to go back and see him again, but he's insisting I have the NT scan and bloods done, even though I said I didn't want it, and wasn't tested with DS either. Do I have to do it? I really don't want to.


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[HotI]

That is horrible, and very unprofessional. Would you feel comfortable to report him?

You don't have to have the NT scan or any other tests done. You also don't have to see him again if you don't want to.

[BellyBelly]

Oh that is awful Another option is to join the Maternity Coalition and they act on your behalf. This sort of behaviour really needs to be addressed. But, welcome and congrats - it'll be worth it!

[Aimz]

Ree Ree that's awful you don't have to do anything you don't want to do!!

Has anyone read Down to Earth by Jenny Blyth?

Also, how many people are you having at your birth and what roles will they fill? I'm very conscious of keeping my birth small, but as a birth photographer, I know the importance of photos, but even I don't think I want one there now. Just me, DP and two IM's. Would love to hear who will be at your birth and how comfy you are with it!

[Cassius2]

Ree: that is disgusting behaviour; i am so sorry that you were forced to go through that . As the others have said ANY scan, bloods, tests etc available are 100% optional extras to the pregnancy: they are not intrinsincally tied hand in hand. you can opt in and out at any time. I do the scans for diagnostic purposes only and even then i am VERY specific about time taken during the scan and have had to really put my foot down about the 3d scans (apparently they are becoming the 'norm' even in diagnostic scans!).

I would be sooo dumping your FS. you dont need him anymore anyway

Aimz: no, sorry! i am in hysterics ATM as i can't find my sheila kitzinger book (pregnancy birth one)...i hope that it wasnt taken by our house-sitters (feel really awkward asking for it back lol). hoping that it is just hidden in a cupboard somewhere...sorry i just went totally off topic then

I am also really thinking about how many ppl i want at the birth. i really loved the intimacy last time, but wish that i had more photos. one of my IMs is also a prof photographer (well was before she became a middie lol), and took gorgeous shots for us at the last one but i dont really have any labouring ones. or any video i am thinking of just filming as much as i can and making do with whatever photos are taken by my IM and DH (last time i forgot to tell him to take pics!). it's nowhere near the same as prof birth photos, but for me thinking ahead to my next birth, i dont think i even want my friend there to look after the girls!

Kelly: sheesh woman you are CLOSE!!! what happened to July??!!!! it's gone in a flash lol!

AFM: back home!!!!!!!!!!!!

feeling really sore and tired and the BH have been really awful since we got back, must get back on the magnesium (i forgot to take them when we were travelling).
nesting has begun. there are currently 10 big bags full of clothes and linens that need to be donated. i know that there will be more lol. i have been going crazy today just trying to get unpacked and organise the girls' room, but i do need to slow down...my poor body is telling me so. My first appt with my IM is Monday (YAY!!!), i am so so excited!

[BellyBelly]

The more my pregnancy has progresed the more minimal I want to keep things. Its hard, obviously you have your partner, IM, I have a support person for the kids (DP's mum) and the photographer, its her first homebirth and shes very excited. The house is small and with the crap weather the kids will be indoors too, so i'm worried about all the noise going on and how much space we'll have. Just been doing my best to word up the support people and hope for the best.

[Eenee]

ReeRee that's terrible! And no you don't have to see him or have those tests.

Aimz: I had my MW the 2ndMW and a student MW my mum was there for DD and my DH. I was going to have a birth photographer but after talking to my MW and DH about it we decided against it given my history of PTSD as didn't want an extra person affecting my progress. And even with all the other people I had there they weren't all there the whole time and I'm glad as I need to feel comfortable and not have people crowd me. I was glad my MW Helped talk me out of having a birth photographer as I really think it would have been to much for me. My MW was great though as she seems to really know what I want and need in labour and really respects my space which was good. My mum and the student MW took photos though and I got some good ones out of that. And given how my labour didn't progress as planned it was a good thing I didn't have an extra there.

[Jennifer13]

I had my IM, back up IM (for the last half an hour, but only because it happened quickly), doula, DP, Mum and DD1. Frankly, I could've given birth in front of an entire stadium full of ppl because I just didn't care.

I wish I'd have had a better photographer/videographer. Annoyed me no end that Mum had trouble using the camera. I mean, DD2 was literally crowning and Mum was asking how to make sure it was focussing or something and I felt like getting out of the birth pool and showing her myself! If there's ever a next time, I'm flying my sister down.

[PumpkinZulu]

We'll be having our IM (Cassius, I believe we have the same midwife now hehe), 2nd IM, doula, DH and DD. Still debating a photographer. We have a great camera now, DH is a decent photographer, but he will be busy most likely So he'll just hand the camera to the IM's and our doula. Had the same doula last time and she took some shots on our iPhones which are nice to have, but very meh and a bit too business end lol! We'll also set up a camcorder this time and just leave it be to film everything.

I can't believe I'm almost 20 weeks! Had our first appt with the IM and she is just lovely, we gelled really well. So it's all actually happening! Our doula emailed me tonight letting me know she doesn't want a penny for this birth, she will be there now as my friend An amazing gesture from her, I'm so touched and excited to have a constant from my birth with DD there to encourage and reassure me this time around. Will be amazing support for DH as well. On a little HB cloud 9 right now...people honestly don't know what they're missing in this type of care; an acquaintance of mine with her first pregnancy 'has' to go see their OB at the hospital every week for check ups, she's only 37 weeks, no complications and she's only 18. She thinks it's the best care ever so doesn't feel like she can complain too much. I just feeling like singing the merits from the roof tops right now

[Jennifer13]

I know what you mean, PZ. Cuppa (or lunch) and a lovely long chat (especially about birthy stuff!) with a quick check of bubba - doesn't come close to being comparable with the waiting room delays for my ob (who, to be fair, never rushed us), the weighing, measuring, recording and then you're done. So nice not to be a bunch of numbers!

[HotI]

I had my midwife (who only arrived 15 mins before baby), a student midwife (with personal homebirth experience- who arrived 50 mins before baby), DH, and DD who was in bed. It was perfect for that birth. A mate wanted to be my birth photographer, but i decided not to call her and that was the right decision. I might have wanted a couple more pics (i think i have 3), but being aware of another person would have been annoying and the people there had other things they were doing.

i had my vid camera and tripod but we never turned it on. i don't know that i would have wanted to watch it anyway.

Kelly, is there anywhere the kids can go if you need some space? A park nearby or a friend s place?

Welcome home Cassius!!

[Aimz]

Another question for those of you using doulas in addition to your IM's. What is the role of your doula in a home birth scenario? Does it overlap with what your IM's offer? What benefits are there to having one there?

I thought about having one but have since decided I'm comfortable with the level of support I know I'll revived from my IM's.

[Ilithyia]

Welcome RhiRhi!! Congratulations on your pregnancy!! I'm with the others on the behaviour of your FS. Very unethical behaviour. And you absolutely do NOT have to do anything you dont want to. And that includes any antenatal testing. I'd just ignore him from here on out and continue planning for the pregnancy and birth that you and your family want.

Kelly - Not long to go now hun!! Hope your not too uncomfortable.

Cassius - Welcome home hun!! Happy nesting

Hi everyone else

I'm still deciding who's going to be at the birth with us (me). As its not looking in finding an IM to support the birth, I've asked a friend of mine who's a Doula (and has freebirthed and homebirthed 2 of her babes) to be there. My mum has been at all of my births and my sister was at my DD2's. I was thinking that I only wanted it to be DP, the girls and I (and the birth support) this time but DP and I are yet again on the rocks so if he's not at the birth I will ask my mum and sister down to support the girls. There will also be a birth photographer (or 2). So all up there will be a decent crowd. Which being a very internal birther, I'm not too phased about.

[PumpkinZulu]

My doula is a constant for me, she was there when I birthed DD. for me, having someone there who was there the first time is axing. For many that will be their IM though. Our doula will also be there as support for DD. I know that in another transfer situation, my doula knows how to keep me focused. She worked seamlessly with the midwives etc last time too, and in the end I was so glad to have her, because both my midwife and back up were unavailable, so I had an unknown carer in a transfer situation. If my first birth had been a proper HB (not a hospital program HB) I'd probably not have felt such a strong need for a doula. Now that I do have an IM though, I'm still glad for my doula, especially for that continuity and a support person for DD (who will be 18 months).

[BellyBelly]

Aimz, I have doula'd with IM's before and have gotten there before IM's plan to be. They usually take on more births too, so if they are between births you have someone fresh and there early if you need them. I think the roles work well together. But not essential - depends on your needs, situation and if you prefer to have certainty.

[BellyBelly]

HotI - There is a park but so many variables - night time birth, wet weather (backyard is slushy atm), my daughter will most likely want to be here the whole time (I think she'll be fine, she's been to a birth with me before and seen heaps of birth stuff). My son would likely get bored so I plan to have him woken before pushing, else have people keep him busy with the birth activity box.

I dont know why its bothering me so much about there being so much background noise. Maybe i'm just being a grump, after a pretty good week emotionally I am feeling really blah again and want to be left alone but also feel really supported... Go figure / I do have a cold though and yesterday my chiro put back in my neck and pelvis so maybe just feeling that. My partner seems too tired and too busy this week for much so feeling a bit left out I guess.

Does/has anyone else ever felt like people are more excited to see the baby than support you?