blergh. just need a wee vent in here where I feel safe to vent such issues...
Soooo, went to our calmbirth get-together (where all of those who did the course get together with the chick who runs the course and we all catch up and admire babies and share our experiences...). it was really lovely and I was really looking forward to it! it's a rare moment where i get to share my experience and talk babies IYKWIM.
BUT i failed to take into account the 'homebirth' factor. we all spoke about where we had our babies etc. and then everyone started sharing their stories: who was on duty, the failiings of the system, the stitches, the trip to hospital etc etc. It was all really fun to listen and talk about their experiences etc. But not one person cared to ask about mine! (basically they all went around going: 'how was yours [experience]. but because they all knew i had a HB, whenever there was a clear opportunity to ask (as was the modus operandi) there were averted gazes and no welcoming in was sooo bummed. i didnt want to get on my high horse about it and push it on anyone so i didnt just jump in anyway and start talking about it. i wanted to be treated like the girl next to me and to be regarded as having had a valid birth journey too IYKWIM. just because it is a HB doesnt mean that it is not valid! there is still a (beautiful!) story to be told! i also had contractions, i also used my calmbirthing skills, i also still needed my DH there, and I still GAVE BIRTH. FFS.
I am not different to the girl beside me. i live in the same boring middle class suburb, i push the same middle class pram, drive the same middle class car, it's just that i gave birth at home! and yes, it was FANTASTIC, so there!
bah humbug. just wanted to talk about my experience too. BAH!
(I know that this could of gone in the punching bag section but just didnt feel like risking a backlash IYKWIM...feeling too sensitive right now as it is)
Cassius I know what you mean. Ive had people like that and friends don't even ask or want to know or exclude you from a conversation, I've had it many a time when friends are talking about their birth experiences and mine just gets skipped. Not exactly sure why this happens...
Oh cassius (hug) yep I've had it to. I try not to take it personally and remind myself that it could be because of any number of reasons, unhappy with their own experience guilt even (and they may know or sense it hb was wonderful!) Just not wanting to know about something so 'out there', some people still actually think its illegal to birth at home in Australia! Honestly if it were me I would probably have butted in and raved on for a bit about how absolutely beautiful and calming it was to be able to birth at home with all that comes with it (and all that DOESN'T). Then made a casual remark about how I loved the experience of birth in hospital also but they don't always compare. You know you can always come here to talk anything hb/birth but yes I know its not the same as having someone IRL listen with interest and care about your experience. I hope you're able to brag to someone soon, maybe next calmbirth meet?
was sooo bummed. i didnt want to get on my high horse about it and push it on anyone so i didnt just jump in anyway and start talking about it. i wanted to be treated like the girl next to me and to be regarded as having had a valid birth journey too IYKWIM. just because it is a HB doesnt mean that it is not valid! there is still a (beautiful!) story to be told! i also had contractions, i also used my calmbirthing skills, i also still needed my DH there, and I still GAVE BIRTH. FFS.
Cassius I know what you mean. Ive had people like that and friends don't even ask or want to know or exclude you from a conversation, I've had it many a time when friends are talking about their birth experiences and mine just gets skipped. Not exactly sure why this happens...
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