See I had a fairly good hospital birth as well. I didn't HB from my first baby, as much as I wanted to (my own crap, after experiencing the loving care of IM's I'd never go back to a hospital based program, no matter how seductive the allure of a Medicare covered birth is). It wasn't perfect the way DD2's birth was, DD1 had her cord clamped fairly quickly and was taken to be suctioned, but the actual birthing was pretty darn close to my HB. I think those women, the ones that just don't want to hear or acknowledge HB, are frightened of how they may feel about their own experiences. I know many women whose bar is very low in terms of their pregnancy and birth care, like you said Cassius. The fact that they narrowly avoided say, an episiotomy, and didn't have a crappy middy, that shouldn't be any woman's standard (unless of corse that's exactly the experience they want). I think, having a hospital birth and then having a HB, I can see that these women (and when I say these women, I don't mean every hospital birther, I mean the negative ones) simply don't know how good it can get. Ignorance is bliss, and when society tells you that you should just just up and be damn grateful you and your baby made it out alive and healthy, well, that's an incredibly low standard in a developed and privileged country IMO. No wonder so many women don't want to hear about empowered birth, especially at home, I can imagine for many it must trigger deep feelings of 'why didn't I deserve that' and 'what does she have that I don't?' And I think that that is that HB has outstanding continuity of care, intimate, respectful, evidence based and individual care. Which EVERYONE deserves, but few actually receive. I thought the care I had in my particular HB program with DD1 was great (not sure what other ones are like), but I really just didn't know how good it could get until DD2. What hospital will offer you a midwife who is on call for you 24/7 after you have your baby and are struggling with PND, to come and be with you and support you any the of the day or night? Having a HB was both life changing and completely and utterly average, it felt natural and normal because it is. I don't think I'm better than anyone because of the way I gave birth either time...often I feel as if I had better experienced than some people, but again, that's relative to each woman. At the end of the day, not every woman wants what we want. That's cool with me, I just don't think we should be shunned and ostracised because our standards, our beliefs and our desires for birth differ from the mainstream way of birthing.
I think you made a really good point there PZ. My impression is (and was kind of my first birth experience at the hospital) was that: 'i go through it'. i not only survived the 'hardship' of labour but actually did it with strength and fortitude and it wasnt like the horror stories at all...and I could prove all the naysayers wrong. that for me, was success. I still hated birthing and found it the most awful thing a woman could go through and dont take the task lightly and doubted that i would ever have more children...but it wasnt as bad as the horror stories that people and media tell. So, Victory!!
I thought that I had reached the ultimate in birthing awesomeness and i seriously felt that 'those women' who had 'orgasmic' or 'empowered' births were 'putting it on' lol. i seriously really had no idea that you could have a birth that was ecstatic or even pain free (and this is not to say that every HB is pain free...i just think that it is more likely to happen in a home setting ITMS).
Anyway, feeling much better about it today. and thankful that i got to vent in here in safety...punching bag room was not my space lol.
I'll go back to my hippy smug place of HB with my head held high
The weird thing is Cassius I think people are freaked out not where you give birth - but if its a good one! People are more likely to want to hear the horror stories instead of a calm, peaceful birth for some reason. And because most homebirths are nice and peaceful - nobody wants to hear about it! I do though, so share all you like with me! haha!
I talked to Mary today from Know Your Midwife - I'm happy to go with her I think. I was going to set up a meeting with Natasha from sunshine coast midwifery as well, however, I don't think I will now, I'm pretty happy to go with Mary. She works with a bunch of midwives (if you google the KYM Buderim they have their own page) and there are two midwives that attend your birth, and each appointment I have with her will cost me about $6 after medicare - so it will cost me about $3,300 all up. I think I can raise that between now and October. She's not worried about us finding the cash anyway since she lets everyone pay it off.
That's great arimeh, seems like things are all falling into place for you
Speaking of mw's I finally got around to calling my mw on wed arvo. It was a little awkward but it was only because I still have this nagging guilt or something. She was absolutely lovely about it and kept telling me she's sure I will have a beautiful birth anyway it won't matter where I am. I think she's right (i really hope so!) but its still kinda odd to think I will be going back to hospital when I'm not sick! I told her I might see her for #6 lol
I have an ob appt in one week and its 'the big one'-for those that haven't had ob care its usual to have a big payment around half way through pg ontop of usual fees- anyway its a little stressful because of course I wasn't planning on having to make this payment, if I was still having hb I wouldnt have to pay until baby bonus was processed if I didn't want to. Oh well my choice I spose can't complain.
Last edited by HomeStyleMumma; February 22nd, 2013 at 04:28 PM.
big hugs HSM i know that that wouldnt of been easy xx (are you still going to take her in with you??! i hope so! would be lovely!)
Arimeh!! YAY!!! (and i think you are right. the only HB stories people like to hear are about the horror ones that reinforce their own decisions to birth in hospital).
Homebirth General Discussion #12
lol
HSM - that big OB payment is a big one huh! I remember it from my first two births - $2,000 is a lot of money straight up!
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