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Teni does jan know you've been at the hospital. I would be seeking her advice on the best thing to do about your appointment.
Do you feel more comfortable dealing with the hospital? Are you feeling like you need additional support? I suppose I want you to start turning to your midwives. I know it's a different care model, but they are there to help you. Why not make an appointment with Jan instead to chat about everything?
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What Arcadia said, and she should be able to get a copy of your ultrasound report too.
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
I can kind of understand where you are coming from, regarding being against their bullying techniques. But I think at what cost? One it is a waste of taxpayers money, wasting an appt that someone else could be using; and two what kind of message is this portraying about home birthers? There is a big difference between advocating for choice and being against other choices.
I just think there is probably a better way for you to convey to them your non-interest in their program. Because these program's are good for offering those that want to birth in hospital, more choice in their pregnancy and labour.
Not meaning to be judgemental, just trying to let you see it from another pov.
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Neither of my midwives know, no. It really was just a couple of hours of mid-range cramping, and it kind of blew up into this big mess - I wouldn't have even gone to the hospital then if I hadn't been a two minute walk away. I'd have waited to see if it got worse or not, which it didn't so that was the first mistake I made. As I said earlier, I wouldn't have wanted to make a fuss and I'm not even sure I'll be telling Kelly or Jan I even went since I know there's nothing wrong. Maybe you're right in that at the back of my mind I feel like I need some sort of other support, but not because something's lacking with my midwives, more that I'm used to the medical model of care. It could even be that I want a more recent point of reference to use against whatever tiny part of my head says "just go to the hospital" - I don't really know.
I seriously hadn't given any of this any kind of deep thought, I'm just doing what comes into my head as it goes. Obviously I should think things over more. Or at least keep things to myself
I don't want the report for any medical reason, more for my own records and hopefully I'll get some sort of print outMy next midwife appointment is a few days after the hospital one, so if there's something I feel I need extra explanation with, I'll ask Kelly then.
You're absolutely right, and I truly hadn't thought of either of those (as I said, I'm not much of a thinker)
I suppose I tend to forget that even though there's no immediate cost to me, there is a cost overall when it comes to public health services. I'm not so sure about it being "an appointment someone else could use" because I had a choice of almost the whole day (it seems Thursdays aren't particularly busy for this doctor) but thinking of that, I'll try to make it a very quick appointment if I can.
As for your second point, I'm not sure many people realise how I'm all bark and no bite... There really is little to no chance that I'll *actually* be rude, or even say anything out of the ordinary. It's just not in me, even when I should be standing up for myself I am meek and just take what's being said. It's only afterwards that I ever say anything. I can count on one hand how many times I remember stepping up and saying what's on my mind to someone I should be standing up to. I'm only saying these things because I felt safe saying them in here, where I'm (somewhat) understood in my dislike of that particular hospital and the way they work. It makes me feel better to vent and say "haha I'm going to waste their time" instead of holding it in and getting myself down about the whole mess I made for myself. If only I hadn't wanted to go to the movies that night, I'd have been forced to wait it out
Yeesh, another loooong post in which I say nothing of importI'll most likely cancel the appointment tomorrow, I don't really *need* the u/s, I just *want* it.
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
I was not saying you were stupid, just trying to point out how others might view it. And you are free to vent, maybe it would be better to discuss your poor treatment rather than saying about wasting time.
It can be difficult to transition to IM care as opposed to hospital, but I think it's important for you to know that your midwife will not (should not) be upset if you contact them about anything that worries you. And they can often offer great feedback and advice. So an important thing you need to tell yourself, anything that worries you enough to seek hospital or dr advice, is important enough to worry your midwife about. You are pregnant, and it's hard having no control over your body, so anything that worries you in the slightest is important to bring up. So please stop saying it wasn't worth bothering your midwife, coz if you need to discuss something it is important to get it off your chest.
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I was saying I was being stupid/silly/other words, wasn't saying you were
It's not that I didn't want to worry Kelly and Jan, it's that I didn't think it worrisome *enough* to bother with. After having been to this hospital with similar issues in both previous pregnancies, I went in thinking it would be maybe an hour's wait, two at the most, before they took me in for a quick scan and sent me on my way. By the time I'd given up hope for that to happen (and I was hardly feeling any cramps by this point) I'd missed the last bus home. So I decided to wait and see who would get to me first - the doctor, or DH coming from work. DH did make it in first, but the nurses called me for the blood test/canulla insertion very soon after before I had much of a chance to explain it all to him and see his opinion. Then I had the cannula in, so I felt incredibly trapped, an hour later they took me in for the "results". I thought they were finally going to at least check the baby so I didn't speak up and say I wanted to leave (because even though by then I was sure all was okay I figured I might as well get an extra peek at him/her), but I just had to wait and wait in the cubicle until the doctor took the thing out of my arm and said we had to go back to the waiting room for one last result to come in. That was the point I finally snapped and we just walked out. So some was definitely my fault, my mistake, etc. but some was me feeling trapped in the situation and just going with it because it was the path of least resistance. Which sums up my life quite nicelyI'm not at all placing all the blame on them - though I wanted and tried to at first - because in retrospect I never should have stepped foot in the hospital.
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I want to give you a hug Teni. You don't need to justify yourself.
Do what you want to do and what feels right. Can I please just give you a push towards ringing your midwives when you need support and to share your hospital story with them. These feelings are very important and part of your journey. They are very intuitive and will weasel out your fears etc eventually and the more you tell them the better.
I saw jan on Saturday and cried as soon as I saw her. She is on your side. Always remember that. She is also psychic and very, very into supporting women, so please make use of her.
Sending you love, space and lots of encouragement.
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Teni tell jan or Kelly. Seriously they won't think anything is inconvenience. It also helps gives them all the background in case there are something that they want to follow up on. See it as helping them help you.
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Good point veus, hadn't thought of it in terms of knowing history etc. They really should know, huh?
On a more homebirthy and less I-hate-hospitals note (I knew she wasn't much older than me, and she certainly doesn't look it, but I never thought we were so close in age! I love it, I'm not used to hitting it off with women my age IRL
I'm a creep
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Teni I don't think you're a creep for that. Naturally you'd want to find things in common with your midwife, a better bond would make the birthing more comfortable imo. Maybe when you meet next you can have a conversation about your friendly stalking (lol).
When I first met my midwife one of the things that struck me was that she'd been to Saudi to live for some years and so she knew a lot about how Muslims interact, what we say, etc and she even greeted me with a Muslim greeting so overall she did a great job at making me feel at ease with her. I absolutely love that she's my middie! Add to that she was super excited when I said I wanted a homebirth and when I said I wanted a water birth she said "wow you've really done your research!" while I thought to myself 'yeah by reading a gazillion birth stories on bb' lol
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Teni I got so obsessed with Jan I used to imagine I'd see her driving around. It's normal and part of the relationship I think. I'm friends with jan on fb and love being in constant touch with her!
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Ah Arimeh...Too early now to stress. What does your m/w say? They have a vaginal breech program at Westmead in Sydney, plus a couple of the m/ws I know have just had successful twin vaginal births (even a water birth) there too. Still not ideal, considering how much I value HB, but that's there at least. Not much help to you in Qld though!
Any other ideas? Did you do anything for the girls?
Arcadia, lol at your hoping to see her driving around. Hannah Dahlen is one of the group m/ws here and I felt like I was around a celebrity for a little while. Turns out she's the one I probably get on best with and I'm slightly disappointed I won't be birthing with her.
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Arimeh have you looked at the Spinning Babies website? They've got lots of info on fetal positioning and helping your baby into a better position for birth. You've got lots of time yet to help that baby move. Try not to stress! It'll be OK.
Oh - and I think that stalking your midwife is a sign that you're clicking well with her.
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hello girls!
Teni: you are not being silly for sharing your thoughtsAnd FWIW i would *totally* go to the appointment to get the scan images of my baby. that's my baby afterall and i would want all of them!
but i do agree that you should contact your IM and let them know that you went. it can be really weird and intimidating realising that they are there for you. i find it hard to call up my IM even now lol! but it is what they are there for. they are there for you and baby. let your main midwife know, as she will most likely want a copy of the report as well. Usually you can ask the hospital to send a report to her as well (do you have her address?). if not, get a copy of it and give it her at your next appt with her. and seriously, ANY concern or niggle you have, feel totally AOK in calling them
Arimeh: oohhh, that would be so full on having a 38 weeker turning lol!
Breech isnt bad Arimeh. there are some really fantastic breech birth info stuff out there. if you feel that baby is content to stay that way, i would get reading and arm yourself with all the knowledge you can muster so that whatever decision you need to make it is yours ITMS.
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Y'know what I realised earlier today, on the subject of calling midwives when there's any (real or perceived) problem? Again, because I'm so used to the hospital route - and really any kind of medical thing - I've never had someone I can just call up personally and talk to. Any GP appointment I've had in the past has just been go into the clinic and see whoever's there. Hospital appointments in pregnancy, pretty much the same deal aside from seeing the same OB for the last few weeks of pregnancy with Amelia and every now and then with Ianto. If there's an emergency (or it's the middle of the night and I don't think the 24-hour GP is enough), we go to the emergency room of the hospital. It's never been the same person/people I see every time. So I think that's why I'd be hesitant to call Kelly and Jan - I'm just not used to someone being "on call" just for me! I see whoever I'm sent to, usually. It's an odd experience for me to have ongoing care in any way
The thing that got me thinking about it was that I got a bill from the RWH wanting more money for my notes
Last edited by TeniBear; July 9th, 2013 at 02:41 PM.
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That's another job for your IM! When i got my notes, if i did it myself there were costs but if my IM (or another health care provider) submitted the request then fees were waived. Before you pay, check with the midwife to see if they can make it easier, or cheaper for you.
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That's the thing, apparently the hospital changed their computer systems or something and the midwives can't access anything more recent than a year or so ago
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I did upside down handstands in the shower and squats to turn the girls, but I think they would have on their own eventually. Unfortunately *insert sigh here* my midwives don't do breech homebirths, so I would be sent to the hospital for an ecv at 37 weeks - and I've talked to my friend who is a midwife there - and she said that the doctors there are reluctant to do the ecv if you have an anterior placenta. Which of course, I do. So its either turn or immediate c-section at 39 weeks - I could *possibly* talk them into letting me go to 40 weeks gestation given my history of being a 42-weeker, but my friend doubts it. They definitely do NOT do vaginal breech there unless its a premature birth that went too quickly, or an undiagnosed breech in labour OR a second twin. And all occasions it has been "accidents"Ah Arimeh...
Any other ideas? Did you do anything for the girls?
Yeah I've been looking into it, and trying some positions. The one with the knees on the edge of the couch is really hard to get up from when you are as heavy as I am PMSLArimeh have you looked at the Spinning Babies website? They've got lots of info on fetal positioning and helping your baby into a better position for birth. You've got lots of time yet to help that baby move. Try not to stress! It'll be OK.
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