Thanks everyone, dunno why I have these random freak outs - I've done it twice without drugs but somehow feel that I can't do it again and those times it was a fluke - weird crap that is in my head. I have to go talk to the mental health midwife in the midwifery group I'm going through, I talked about it with my midwife yesterday and she said that it would be a good idea to go and purge all this stuff out before the birth, and all I should focus on is my breath through labour. And everything else will fall into place, I just have to concentrate on my breathing.

HotI - yup I believe that when you know, you know!

AFM - I went to the midwife yesterday, baby is no longer breech but is oblique and lying like he's in a hammock - back towards my back with his legs and arms sprawled out. Glad he's comfortable because I'm not particularly!! LOL So I've been told to go see a chiropractor (which I should about my SPD anyway) and keep doing stuff from spinning babies to get him to get his grinding hard head out of my hip!