i think i have decided this time that i have to accept that it is going to hurt and lots, but i will get through it. First time i wasn't at home, had syntocinon, restricted movement, baby was posterior... and so for #2, i think i went into it thinking that it wasn't going to hurt as much cos i had eliminated some of the issues. But it still hurt. lots. In some ways, i was more in tune with what i was feeling and i distinctly remember my pelvis opening as baby went through. I guess i was a bit shocked by the pain and had my crisis of confidence wondering if i was going to get through it. It would be nice to have an orgasmic labour, but i don't think that will happen.

I fully reserve the right to freak out again in a few months, but in the safety of my 1st tri position, i am feeling ok.

good luck with the chiro.
I honestly feel the same about birth. I've had two drug free births, one in hospital and one at home. Obviously they had marked differences, but the labours themselves were very similar; that being, about an hour of easy, mild contractions about 12-7 minutes apart...and then 5ish hours of intensely painful contractions 2 minutes or less apart. For me, labour, as much as I want it to be, is not a serene, magical experience. It's like a full on workout. It's painful, it requires every ounce of my concentration and will. I need thorough support and encouragement. I doubt myself hugely. The actual giving birth, god I love that. Knowing baby is coming, that it's almost over, that I'm going to meet my little child soon, so amazing. Baby coming out, exhilarating! But labour? Hard, hard work. With DD1 I didn't know what to expect, and although I was pretty shocked by how much it actually hurt, the joy of meeting my first child wiped it from my mind. With DD2, I was convinced the majority of my pain was due to being in a hospital environment, and preparing for a Homebirth would make it different. I actually found DD2's labour more painful than DD1's, although I didn't lose my composure like I did halfway through DD1's. Now, I know it's going to hurt. Both my labours have been 6 and 6.5 hours respectively. So I'm prepared for at least 6 hours. I'm prepared to not have a serene birth, I'm prepared for it to be a challenge and super hard work, and that actually makes me feel a lot better about next time, because instead of spending my pregnancy preparing for a lovely, happy, relaxed labour, I'm going to prepare myself for dealing with the pain in the best ways I can