Homebirth General Discussion #2

[meow]

The fact that I have my appointments at home and don't have to arrange babysitting or drag my kids to the hosp for every appointment (and have to endure the big wait) is such a hugething.

Oh I hear you! I have had two birth centre appointments so far. Both about 40mins late by which time I was dealing with a tantruming toddler while getting through the appointment- not to mention paying for expensive hospital parking. My home midwife appointment was about an hour late but she had called to check that was okay as she was running late that day and then she got lost (everyone does first time they come to our place) and it was no big deal- just hung out with my son And then when he did get cranky during our LONG chat ( ) I coudl get him more toys and food etc while still chatting.

so when asked about pain relief (cause obviously that's what EVERYONE first asks about ) i told her that my MW can do water injections if we want, and she just laughed out loud and goes, 'oh that's a good placebo...ha ha ha...oohh a bit of saline (and insert drumroll for emphasis on how ignorant she is) IN THE LEG. i didnt even smile back and went, yeah, not really and left it at that lol. THEN she tried to talk DH out of it cause he didnt want to be in the room when i got the blood drawn (he has a thing about those blood vials lol). and she's like, you know, birth is gory...you're not going to handle it. i was furious. i will make a complaint to my regular GP as i found it really offensive. never had trouble before at that clinic, so was pretty bummed.

do you have to keep the booking at the BC? i cant imagine how they would class you as high risk?? surely it would all be conjecture on how 'big' your next beautiful bub is going to be??

That doctor sounds like a nightmare!!!! You don't even NEED pain relief and if she hasn't heard of sterile water injections then she needs to just butt out!! Do tell your regular doctor about her.

I don't have to stay booked into the birth centre and I'm dropping out after the 20 week scan (so close now I figure I'll get my freebie) so I wont even need to see the ob. It's just really annoyed me that this is how they treat the women that birth there. So mad. I think he would say I would need "close monitoring" for measurements and possibly an extra ultrasound if I measure large, and must have the GD test. So cranky- there is no reason to think I can't birth this next baby even if they are bigger than the last one.

Have you seen the trailer for the documentary Face of Birth.... there was an interesting bit where they say there are 3 types of women that choose homebirth. The 1st have had a bad experience in the hospital system, the 2nd are the fringe hippy type and the 3rd are really educated about birth. I fall mainly into the 3rd category with a little bit of the 1st too. Which leads me to think that women who say that "it's not for me" don't fit into any of these categories! I think a lot of the time women may not have a great experience in the hospital but don't actually realise that birth can be better than that. In a way ignorance is bliss for them but it's so sad that they are short changing themselves.

I'm really looking forward to my homebirth too (end August). I'm in a public program so fingers crossed there... I have a pretty supportive team though which is good. I must admit I haven't shared this news around much in my social circles because I know that a lot of people wouldn't be supportive. I'm kind of just quietly doing it my way.

Thanks so much for that! Haven't seen that trailer but it sounds really good- really helped me "place" myself too. I'm like you- more of the 3rd with a little of the 1st. And I think in someone else's eyes my birth would ahve been greta but being educated I know it could have been better without the unnecessary hospital rules.

I've been telling everyone I'm having a HB though I'm a little tired of hearing "Well good luck with it going to plan". I think people think I'm being unrealistic and I'll have to transfer. It's annoying arguing against "but this could go wrong" with people who are uninformed too. One friend asked me for tips on the best place in Melb for a natural waterbirth though- I told her, at home

Is anyone else in a belly buddies group on here? How do you find it? I'm getting a little tired of the lack of understanding about homebirth and birth in general. I mentioned my trauma from stitches last time too and not one person commented on it. I find the response to birth trauma is much better with homebirthers.

[onthefly]

I was a little bit surprised in that my mum seems quite comfortable with the idea. I think she had pretty trouble-free pregnancies and births so perhaps that influences her perspective. When I first floated the idea when pg with DS her first reaction was 'Oh, but the mess!' She was impressed also that we get continuity of care with our very own midwife and all for free. I think the only other person I've really talked to about it is a close friend of mine who thinks it's a lovely idea. Not for her as she nearly died with her first - I think they'd be far to anxious being anywhere but major tertiary care hospital in future (and it's lucky she birthed there first time).

That's interesting Suga. I guess I'm 1 + 3 also. I wouldn't really say my first birth was traumatic as such, but certainly very disappointing. (3) just wasn't strong enough first time round as I considered looking into homebirth but just never did it. I'm ready for it now though

WAiting around for hours for the OB and paying $100 for the privilege... no more!

I didn't think that homebirthers were freaky hippies before... I just never thought about homebirth at all. I always equated birth with hospitals and I think that's just the way most people think about it... till they hear something different.

Meow- we havn't gotten to discussion about birth in our buddy thread yet.

[~kaos~]

Interesting about the "types of women" thing from the Face of Birth. I would think of myself as #3. Some may think of me as a little bit #2 (cause I cloth nappy, sleep with my babies, have a little bit of an environmental concious etc) but I don't see myself this way, only when compared to the sheep like mentality of the mainstream. Certainly not #1 for me - my first birth was my not ecstatic, I was on a high for months, and it was a birth centre birth. But the BC started my education in birth and ultimately led me to homebirthing.

That being said, I think the reason a lot of people don't choose homebirth is a cultural issue. We seem so ingrained to seek out medical attention when fall pregnant because we don't know that there are other options. I did. I was lucky that I didn't have private health insurance at the time and that my GP suggested the BC.

And I know what you mean about being over people saying "I hope it all goes well". I got that so much for my last homebirth, like it was risky or something. A really memorable and warm fuzzy moment when I was talking to a older dutch woman (who'd had homebirths herself) said to me "I hope you have a lovely birth". I don't know if she realised how much that stood out to me. So small, but made such an impact!

[meow]

Some may think of me as a little bit #2 (cause I cloth nappy, sleep with my babies, have a little bit of an environmental concious etc)

Actually that is me too! I should admit to my hippy side I guess. I suppose to me that is just an extension of #3 but you are right- for others we probably do seem a bit alternative.

I'm the only Mum who will be homebirthing from my mother's group but I joined a Natural Parenting playgroup and a few Mums in our group have homebirthed and I'm planning a homebirth with another couple of pregnant Mums now too. So glad to have found my playgroup because I love my pregnancy and birth chats there on a Thursday morning. I've talked about my trauma from stitches, my planned waterbirth, which midwife I've chosen etc etc all from questions and interested, knowledgeable women

[Cricket]

Hmmm..... I wonder if being Dutch has something to do with why I've never gotten much flak over my homebirths? The only comment I ever got really was "what about the mess!?" The Dutch are also known for being clean - LOL. There are a few other mums in my church who have homebirthed or are considering it.
About the types of women thing - I guess I'd be a 3. I had good experiences at the hospital, and I'm not a hippy. Although, I do babywear, and co-sleep for the first 6 weeks or so. But that's laziness, not hippy-ness. We tried cloth diapering, but it just didn't work out for us. So I don't think I make the hippy certification.

[Cassius2]

hmm as for the categories i am definitely 1, which then lead immediately to 3 LOL! like marcellus mentioned, i was one of those people that automatically equated birth with hospital and didnt really question it outside of that. in fact i just assumed that HB was illegal (i had a friend who wanted to HB in qld and she faced alot of flak and because i wasnt in the 'business' of babies or birth i just assumed that it was because it was underground and not allowed....and of course didnt question LOL!).

i am sure that ppl can have an amazing birth in BCs or hospitals, but to me, it's no longer worth the risk if you don't IYKWIM. i would much rather have a higher garuantee that you get with an IM and HB combo ITMS. and this combined with the healing being provided from the calmbirth classes i am doing i am sure that i am on a better track than last time. NO DOUBT!

[*Infinity*]

Suga those categories are interesting, I'm a bit of 1 and mostly 3 I think. I didn't have a horrific experience in hospital, just a disappointing one - DS was unexpectedly breech when I got into the Birth Centre in labour - and lets face it, hospitals really aren't the place to get support for a vaginal breech birth these days - so we had a c-section. It wasn't traumatic, it was just a disappointing turn of events. I wish I'd planned to birth at home the first time around LOL! But I feel like I fit more into the #3 category. I know my chances of achieving a VBAC are optimised if I plan to birth at home with an IM - simple as that. I know that continuity of care with a midwife is the gold standard - and employing an IM is the only way I'll get that after having a previous c-section - again, really simple choice. Its like DP reflected back to me yesterday when we were talking about homebirth - we're not doing this to make a point, or because we feel the need to stick to a set of ideals or because we're hippies that don't conform - its because we want to achieve the safest, more secure environment to welcome our baby into and everything that comes along with that.

We had our first antenatal appointment with our IM - on a public holiday LOL! Loved it. I had a few days a week or so ago where I got the jitters after a few things came up, but we soon worked through that. Its so funny, because 6 mnths ago I never would have been able to say that DP would even look at the option of homebirth, let alone be an advocate for it. But here we are, me getting cold feet, and him being the voice of reason & all things rational, helping me be clear about why I want this! Too funny. I guess its all part of the process. But now we're all set and on the way! Which is so exciting. We're also still considering hiring a doula too - just for additional support.

We talked a little bit about what my chances are of having another breech baby at term - and apparently my chances are slightly elevated, but nothing outrageous. I'm at peace with that though and if this little one decides he/she wants to enter the world bum or feet first, then I'm all for that. Our IM is experienced with breech and happy to support us which is one of the reasons we chose her. I have confidence in my body and trust that my baby will choose its entry the world just as its meant to be. I can't tell you how nice it is to feel comfortable with that and just trust.

DP and I have decided that we'll only be sharing our plans to birth at home with a few select people, my sister and a couple that are our closest friends - mainly as they'll be the support people for DS on the day and we'll need their help and support. No other people will know, and we're not telling any family either. I know some people would probably accuse us of hiding our plans or covering things up - but we have two very nervous & anxious mothers in our lives who we don't need pestering us when they won't bother to actually take the time to listen to our reasons and do their own research. I just don't need that kind of energy around me.

So its lovely to be in here sharing this journey with all of you!