Homebirth General Discussion #2

[meow]

i wish i could convince everyone to give it a go so no one missed out on such an awesome experience!

I feel the same way. I'm still surprised and saddened by how 'revolutionary' homebirth is perceived and how many women say "that sounds fantastic, but it's not for me". Why not??? It's not a political statement, it's not some crazy-wacked-out-hippy-nutcase idea. it's normal. It's about normal women and families birthing their babies in a normal way. No fear, no drama, just birth

I can't wait to have my homebirth!!! I was crazy not to have one last time and I'm just glad the birth still went well. Bring on the homebirth

[meow]

Ugh. I'm currently still booked into the birth centre till after the 20 week scan. I had been told I would deemed "low risk" this time due to having such a straight forward pregnancy and drug & intervention free labour last time... but just got a call that the OB who looked at my file wants a face-to-face appointment before classing me as low risk due to the fact that I had a big-ish baby last time!!!!! He was 4.3kg- not even 10 pounds FFS!!! SOOOOO glad to be ditching the hospital system this time. SO SO SO SO SO glad!!!

[~kaos~]

I'm still surprised and saddened by how 'revolutionary' homebirth is perceived and how many women say "that sounds fantastic, but it's not for me". Why not??? It's not a political statement, it's not some crazy-wacked-out-hippy-nutcase idea. it's normal. It's about normal women and families birthing their babies in a normal way. No fear, no drama, just birth

I KNOW!

For me, homebirth is just a sensible choice, especially with a small family. The fact that I have my appointments at home and don't have to arrange babysitting or drag my kids to the hosp for every appointment (and have to endure the big wait) is such a hugething. That when I go into labour, there isn't a big contingency plan for what is going to happen with the kids..... The practicalities are one of the biggest bonuses for me. If my midwife is running late for an appointment, no big deal, I'll just keep doing the housework, or playing the with kids or resting And like you said, no fear, no drama, just birth

[Cassius2]

meow: so so true. so many in our society see HB as something 'Other' and not normal, like something whacky and therefore crazy. had to endure a different GP today for my routine BT and she was so deriding and tried to make all these 'small' jokes. so when asked about pain relief (cause obviously that's what EVERYONE first asks about ) i told her that my MW can do water injections if we want, and she just laughed out loud and goes, 'oh that's a good placebo...ha ha ha...oohh a bit of saline (and insert drumroll for emphasis on how ignorant she is) IN THE LEG. i didnt even smile back and went, yeah, not really and left it at that lol. THEN she tried to talk DH out of it cause he didnt want to be in the room when i got the blood drawn (he has a thing about those blood vials lol). and she's like, you know, birth is gory...you're not going to handle it. i was furious. i will make a complaint to my regular GP as i found it really offensive. never had trouble before at that clinic, so was pretty bummed.

do you have to keep the booking at the BC? i cant imagine how they would class you as high risk?? surely it would all be conjecture on how 'big' your next beautiful bub is going to be??

[meow]

The fact that I have my appointments at home and don't have to arrange babysitting or drag my kids to the hosp for every appointment (and have to endure the big wait) is such a hugething.

Oh I hear you! I have had two birth centre appointments so far. Both about 40mins late by which time I was dealing with a tantruming toddler while getting through the appointment- not to mention paying for expensive hospital parking. My home midwife appointment was about an hour late but she had called to check that was okay as she was running late that day and then she got lost (everyone does first time they come to our place) and it was no big deal- just hung out with my son And then when he did get cranky during our LONG chat ( ) I coudl get him more toys and food etc while still chatting.

so when asked about pain relief (cause obviously that's what EVERYONE first asks about ) i told her that my MW can do water injections if we want, and she just laughed out loud and goes, 'oh that's a good placebo...ha ha ha...oohh a bit of saline (and insert drumroll for emphasis on how ignorant she is) IN THE LEG. i didnt even smile back and went, yeah, not really and left it at that lol. THEN she tried to talk DH out of it cause he didnt want to be in the room when i got the blood drawn (he has a thing about those blood vials lol). and she's like, you know, birth is gory...you're not going to handle it. i was furious. i will make a complaint to my regular GP as i found it really offensive. never had trouble before at that clinic, so was pretty bummed.

do you have to keep the booking at the BC? i cant imagine how they would class you as high risk?? surely it would all be conjecture on how 'big' your next beautiful bub is going to be??

That doctor sounds like a nightmare!!!! You don't even NEED pain relief and if she hasn't heard of sterile water injections then she needs to just butt out!! Do tell your regular doctor about her.

I don't have to stay booked into the birth centre and I'm dropping out after the 20 week scan (so close now I figure I'll get my freebie) so I wont even need to see the ob. It's just really annoyed me that this is how they treat the women that birth there. So mad. I think he would say I would need "close monitoring" for measurements and possibly an extra ultrasound if I measure large, and must have the GD test. So cranky- there is no reason to think I can't birth this next baby even if they are bigger than the last one.

Have you seen the trailer for the documentary Face of Birth.... there was an interesting bit where they say there are 3 types of women that choose homebirth. The 1st have had a bad experience in the hospital system, the 2nd are the fringe hippy type and the 3rd are really educated about birth. I fall mainly into the 3rd category with a little bit of the 1st too. Which leads me to think that women who say that "it's not for me" don't fit into any of these categories! I think a lot of the time women may not have a great experience in the hospital but don't actually realise that birth can be better than that. In a way ignorance is bliss for them but it's so sad that they are short changing themselves.

I'm really looking forward to my homebirth too (end August). I'm in a public program so fingers crossed there... I have a pretty supportive team though which is good. I must admit I haven't shared this news around much in my social circles because I know that a lot of people wouldn't be supportive. I'm kind of just quietly doing it my way.

Thanks so much for that! Haven't seen that trailer but it sounds really good- really helped me "place" myself too. I'm like you- more of the 3rd with a little of the 1st. And I think in someone else's eyes my birth would ahve been greta but being educated I know it could have been better without the unnecessary hospital rules.

I've been telling everyone I'm having a HB though I'm a little tired of hearing "Well good luck with it going to plan". I think people think I'm being unrealistic and I'll have to transfer. It's annoying arguing against "but this could go wrong" with people who are uninformed too. One friend asked me for tips on the best place in Melb for a natural waterbirth though- I told her, at home

Is anyone else in a belly buddies group on here? How do you find it? I'm getting a little tired of the lack of understanding about homebirth and birth in general. I mentioned my trauma from stitches last time too and not one person commented on it. I find the response to birth trauma is much better with homebirthers.

[onthefly]

I was a little bit surprised in that my mum seems quite comfortable with the idea. I think she had pretty trouble-free pregnancies and births so perhaps that influences her perspective. When I first floated the idea when pg with DS her first reaction was 'Oh, but the mess!' She was impressed also that we get continuity of care with our very own midwife and all for free. I think the only other person I've really talked to about it is a close friend of mine who thinks it's a lovely idea. Not for her as she nearly died with her first - I think they'd be far to anxious being anywhere but major tertiary care hospital in future (and it's lucky she birthed there first time).

That's interesting Suga. I guess I'm 1 + 3 also. I wouldn't really say my first birth was traumatic as such, but certainly very disappointing. (3) just wasn't strong enough first time round as I considered looking into homebirth but just never did it. I'm ready for it now though

WAiting around for hours for the OB and paying $100 for the privilege... no more!

I didn't think that homebirthers were freaky hippies before... I just never thought about homebirth at all. I always equated birth with hospitals and I think that's just the way most people think about it... till they hear something different.

Meow- we havn't gotten to discussion about birth in our buddy thread yet.

[~kaos~]

Interesting about the "types of women" thing from the Face of Birth. I would think of myself as #3. Some may think of me as a little bit #2 (cause I cloth nappy, sleep with my babies, have a little bit of an environmental concious etc) but I don't see myself this way, only when compared to the sheep like mentality of the mainstream. Certainly not #1 for me - my first birth was my not ecstatic, I was on a high for months, and it was a birth centre birth. But the BC started my education in birth and ultimately led me to homebirthing.

That being said, I think the reason a lot of people don't choose homebirth is a cultural issue. We seem so ingrained to seek out medical attention when fall pregnant because we don't know that there are other options. I did. I was lucky that I didn't have private health insurance at the time and that my GP suggested the BC.

And I know what you mean about being over people saying "I hope it all goes well". I got that so much for my last homebirth, like it was risky or something. A really memorable and warm fuzzy moment when I was talking to a older dutch woman (who'd had homebirths herself) said to me "I hope you have a lovely birth". I don't know if she realised how much that stood out to me. So small, but made such an impact!

[meow]

Some may think of me as a little bit #2 (cause I cloth nappy, sleep with my babies, have a little bit of an environmental concious etc)

Actually that is me too! I should admit to my hippy side I guess. I suppose to me that is just an extension of #3 but you are right- for others we probably do seem a bit alternative.

I'm the only Mum who will be homebirthing from my mother's group but I joined a Natural Parenting playgroup and a few Mums in our group have homebirthed and I'm planning a homebirth with another couple of pregnant Mums now too. So glad to have found my playgroup because I love my pregnancy and birth chats there on a Thursday morning. I've talked about my trauma from stitches, my planned waterbirth, which midwife I've chosen etc etc all from questions and interested, knowledgeable women

[Cricket]

Hmmm..... I wonder if being Dutch has something to do with why I've never gotten much flak over my homebirths? The only comment I ever got really was "what about the mess!?" The Dutch are also known for being clean - LOL. There are a few other mums in my church who have homebirthed or are considering it.
About the types of women thing - I guess I'd be a 3. I had good experiences at the hospital, and I'm not a hippy. Although, I do babywear, and co-sleep for the first 6 weeks or so. But that's laziness, not hippy-ness. We tried cloth diapering, but it just didn't work out for us. So I don't think I make the hippy certification.

[Cassius2]

hmm as for the categories i am definitely 1, which then lead immediately to 3 LOL! like marcellus mentioned, i was one of those people that automatically equated birth with hospital and didnt really question it outside of that. in fact i just assumed that HB was illegal (i had a friend who wanted to HB in qld and she faced alot of flak and because i wasnt in the 'business' of babies or birth i just assumed that it was because it was underground and not allowed....and of course didnt question LOL!).

i am sure that ppl can have an amazing birth in BCs or hospitals, but to me, it's no longer worth the risk if you don't IYKWIM. i would much rather have a higher garuantee that you get with an IM and HB combo ITMS. and this combined with the healing being provided from the calmbirth classes i am doing i am sure that i am on a better track than last time. NO DOUBT!

[*Infinity*]

Suga those categories are interesting, I'm a bit of 1 and mostly 3 I think. I didn't have a horrific experience in hospital, just a disappointing one - DS was unexpectedly breech when I got into the Birth Centre in labour - and lets face it, hospitals really aren't the place to get support for a vaginal breech birth these days - so we had a c-section. It wasn't traumatic, it was just a disappointing turn of events. I wish I'd planned to birth at home the first time around LOL! But I feel like I fit more into the #3 category. I know my chances of achieving a VBAC are optimised if I plan to birth at home with an IM - simple as that. I know that continuity of care with a midwife is the gold standard - and employing an IM is the only way I'll get that after having a previous c-section - again, really simple choice. Its like DP reflected back to me yesterday when we were talking about homebirth - we're not doing this to make a point, or because we feel the need to stick to a set of ideals or because we're hippies that don't conform - its because we want to achieve the safest, more secure environment to welcome our baby into and everything that comes along with that.

We had our first antenatal appointment with our IM - on a public holiday LOL! Loved it. I had a few days a week or so ago where I got the jitters after a few things came up, but we soon worked through that. Its so funny, because 6 mnths ago I never would have been able to say that DP would even look at the option of homebirth, let alone be an advocate for it. But here we are, me getting cold feet, and him being the voice of reason & all things rational, helping me be clear about why I want this! Too funny. I guess its all part of the process. But now we're all set and on the way! Which is so exciting. We're also still considering hiring a doula too - just for additional support.

We talked a little bit about what my chances are of having another breech baby at term - and apparently my chances are slightly elevated, but nothing outrageous. I'm at peace with that though and if this little one decides he/she wants to enter the world bum or feet first, then I'm all for that. Our IM is experienced with breech and happy to support us which is one of the reasons we chose her. I have confidence in my body and trust that my baby will choose its entry the world just as its meant to be. I can't tell you how nice it is to feel comfortable with that and just trust.

DP and I have decided that we'll only be sharing our plans to birth at home with a few select people, my sister and a couple that are our closest friends - mainly as they'll be the support people for DS on the day and we'll need their help and support. No other people will know, and we're not telling any family either. I know some people would probably accuse us of hiding our plans or covering things up - but we have two very nervous & anxious mothers in our lives who we don't need pestering us when they won't bother to actually take the time to listen to our reasons and do their own research. I just don't need that kind of energy around me.

So its lovely to be in here sharing this journey with all of you!

[~Stoked~]

How exciting Infinity!

Suga: I'd be a number 3 too

Cricket: I think the "mess" was the main reason DH was a bit reluctant before our HB!! The first comment he made after the birth (to his mates and anyone who'd listen) was how he was expecting the pool to look like a shark attack had occured but there wasn't even one drop of blood! He couldn't believe it!! haha!

I got accepted into the CMP yesterday! Well, i still have to have my assesment appointment (on the 28th) but i'll be fine!

I had to go see the Dr yesterday to get a referral for the 1st trimester screening, and i hate to say it but when i left i felt a bit down in the dumps and realised later on that she had made me doubt my choice of having a HB. I had a few problems AFTER the birth
1. I had a PPH and nearly had to be transferred
2. I had retained placenta, still bleeding after 3 months so had a D&C and retained products were confirmed. (baby was 12 days over, placenta was unhealthy looking and got stuck on the way out so midwife was not 100% it all came away but as i had no other signs of retained products it was assumed all was well)
3. My baby broke his collarbone at birth. This was only picked up at the 6 week check as he had FULL use of his arm and the only inkling that something was amiss was that during the first 3 weeks he was quite unsettled and would not feed as well on the left side (right clavicle fracture). It was only picked up as i noticed he sometimes appeared 'crooked' so the MCHN checked him out and found a lump on his collarbone (where the bone had re-formed).
4. I declined the Vit K for my bub (I am ashamed of this decision as i now feel i did not do enough research into this and my babe had problems with bruising at 3.5months, I feel terribly guilty and the Dr gave me a lecture on why it is ALWAYS given to bubs born in the 'normal', ie- hospital, system. So now i feel even more guilty). I had to put my baby through the most AWFUL experience of having a blood test all because i didn't do my research and i feel dreadful. I had to have 4 courses of antibiotics within 3 months of the birth and feel that this may have contributed to 'killing off' the Vit K in his system, although the pediatrician said his clotting factors were all fine so i don't know what to think. I was pretty much fobbed off my the pediatrician and did not even get a follow up appointment, his receptionist just called me with the results!

So i am feeling a little down in the dumps and while i know that all of these things could have happened (and quite often do!!) in the hospital system, i feel as though my doctor believes that none of these things would have happened if i hadn't had a homebirth! I feel terribly guilty right now and cannot wait to have a big long discussion (and probably a big cry too!!) with my midwife!

Sorry, i didnt mean to make this a 'poor me' post but i guess i really needed to get that out and this would probably be the best place to do so.....
xx

[onthefly]

That sounds great Infinity - and wonderful that your DH has your back.

Stoked. I don't see how any of those things would have differed if you had been at hospital adn realistically, the response from your midwife at home was probably exactly the same as you would have gotten anyway. I'm sure talking through it with your wonderful midwife will put your mind at ease.

I have my booking visit on Monday. yay.

[meow]

I'm so excited to hear about your home birth plans Infinity! You sound like you've absolutely made the right choice! I'm sorry you feel you need to keep it a secret from those around you. It's going to be an awesome experience!!!

Stoked I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. I think a good chat to your midwife will help. I'll offer my thoughts too...

1. I had a PPH and nearly had to be transferred

Well, that could happen again and if so you can still transfer again. No biggie.

2. I had retained placenta, still bleeding after 3 months so had a D&C and retained products were confirmed. (baby was 12 days over, placenta was unhealthy looking and got stuck on the way out so midwife was not 100% it all came away but as i had no other signs of retained products it was assumed all was well)

Okay, so maybe in hospital they would have sent you off for the D&C straight after labour "in case". I think I prefer the sound of doing it later "as needed" as you did so it sounds like a good outcome to me.

3. My baby broke his collarbone at birth. This was only picked up at the 6 week check as he had FULL use of his arm and the only inkling that something was amiss was that during the first 3 weeks he was quite unsettled and would not feed as well on the left side (right clavicle fracture). It was only picked up as i noticed he sometimes appeared 'crooked' so the MCHN checked him out and found a lump on his collarbone (where the bone had re-formed).

This absolutely could have happened in a hospital too. If your baby was moving well why would a broken bone be suspected. This is why we keep checking them afterwards- same for hospital or home birth. If you wanted to be pro-active to ease your mind next time you could visit a chiro for an after-birth checkup and your baby looked over. Great for getting them into alignment even without a break.

4. I declined the Vit K for my bub (I am ashamed of this decision as i now feel i did not do enough research into this and my babe had problems with bruising at 3.5months, I feel terribly guilty and the Dr gave me a lecture on why it is ALWAYS given to bubs born in the 'normal', ie- hospital, system. So now i feel even more guilty). I had to put my baby through the most AWFUL experience of having a blood test all because i didn't do my research and i feel dreadful. I had to have 4 courses of antibiotics within 3 months of the birth and feel that this may have contributed to 'killing off' the Vit K in his system, although the pediatrician said his clotting factors were all fine so i don't know what to think. I was pretty much fobbed off my the pediatrician and did not even get a follow up appointment, his receptionist just called me with the results!

I think declining the vit k as "routine" is a perfectly acceptable option and one many people choose in hospital too. It is not "always" given. You should feel proud that again, on an "as needed" basis you followed up medical care and everything was fine. You are an observant, caring and informed mother- give yourself a pat on the back!!

[~Stoked~]

Hello Ladies,

Thankyou so much for your supportive words.

I think i've been feeling this way as it takes so long to "convince" people (my family, friends, doctors, other health professionals etc) that homebirth is safe and that i've done my research and made the right decision, then when something goes wrong people are so quick to say "i told you so!!"... I do know that all of the unfortunate things that happened could have happened in the hospital but they would have been accepted in the hospital ITMS. People are so quick to blame the homebirth but they wouldn't think twice if these things happened in the hospital. It is so frustrating! I feel like i'm being looked at as an irresponsible person for choosing HB and for going back there AGAIN after all these things happened! But bully to them! I just had a big ol' chat with my MCHN (lovely, lovely lady!) and she nearly slapped me for doubting myself! So that was nice for her to be so supportive

Meow: We DID get our baby checked by a Chiro when he was 10 days old..... He didn't pick it up either! Neither did the MCHN at any of her visits up until the 6 week check. That's how well hidden it was! The Chiro could see that he was a little bit out on that side but didn't pick up the fracture.

I will definately doing my research into Vit K for this baby, although as my MCHN just said, If Archie's Vit K levels were low it would have shown up in the clotting factors blood test.... So maybe just another guilt trip on Dr and Pediatrician's behalf??

Thanks once again ladies, i really do appreciate your support xx

[Oorki Galoorki]

just popping in to say it is SO wonderful to see SO MANY women in here talking and planning HBs!
when i was planning my HB there was 1 other on BB...
I know you all will have GLORIOUS births and will not for one moment have any doubt that it wasnt the best birth decision you have made.

[onthefly]

I do know that all of the unfortunate things that happened could have happened in the hospital but they would have been accepted in the hospital ITMS. People are so quick to blame the homebirth but they wouldn't think twice if these things happened in the hospital.

So true!
Your MCHN sounds great - glad you're feeling a little better.

[Cassius2]

Hi girls!

Stoked: i have to agree with the other posters and say that those problems post birth can and do happen in any setting (whether home or hossy). but like you said, if they happen in a hossy there is an acceptance that things can go haywire, but if they happen in a homebirth it's because we are 'reckless'. I hope that this next birth experience can bring healing for you, as i am sure it will

AFM: things travelling well here pregnancy wise. bubbity boo is growing and squirming, and i am now entering the phase of uncomfortable sleep and midnight insomnia (oh the joys lol). I am away from Melbourbe atm and just heard some upsetting news taht my good friend (who was planning a homebirth) went into labour and within the hour baby was born. apparently it was so fast that she couldnt move from where the first contraction started and she had her two young boys there and wasnt able to really shield them from what was happening. poor bubby came out but was struggling to breathe. luckily the midiwife lives just down the road and was able to call the ambulance and both mum and bub are now in ICU. i am guessing that because of the crazy fast birth they are both being treated for shock?? i dont have details as (of course) it has only just happened and i am so far away at the moment. i am so worried about her and her baby boy. i will be back in melbourne on saturday and will give the mobile a call...that way they can screen who is calling and choose to answer if they want??? do you think this would be ok? (we are very close friends).