Homebirth General Discussion #22

[Freya]

Hi All,

Congrats Tegam! Wonderful news!

Congrats to you also Kel - I hope all is going well with you and baby.

Bella, I wish I could offer some helpful advice, the others have given some great advice. xx

Welcome Freya! Its great to see you're still (like me) working towards that much wanted homebirth

I'm just pottering along here. All is going well. Not much to report really

Its only taken me 6 years and 5 kids to even get the opportunity to plan for one lol Now if everything just goes off without a hitch I will be one happy birthing mama

[Tegam]

Of course it will Freya!

[Ilithyia]

Yep we're certainly cruising along Tegam lol The weeks go by so quick these days but in the same token, it doesn't feel like its going to quick that I'm not able to enjoy the pregnancy. Its quite nice really.

Oh I totally get that Freya! I've been planning to birth at home since 2007! I feel everything will work out this time. I'm well supported, grounded and am putting a lot into birth preparation. I wish you all the best and hope we both finally reach what we've been working towards all these years

[Jennifer13]

Hugs to Tegam and Bella. No solutions but plenty of thoughts for you both.

Took the girls plus a friend of DD1's up to a movie and beach outing today. Was beautiful, but oh my, I need more hands. The crazy toddler of mine and the baby who no longer sleeps in movies. Who am I kidding that I could do one more??! I barely sit down before 7pm and then it's to bf (twice). My friends keep looking at me sympathetically when we're out. Tell me honestly, Tegam/meow/Freya, do you just give up after three and accept that getting to the end of the day with all children still intact is a small miracle?

They're lucky they're so cute...

[Bella29]

I wonder that too Jen. I still want a fourth, but wonder what I would be in for.

[Freya]

It really isn't that bad actually, you kind of find your families rhythms. And I have zero expectation every day - if we make it to the end of the day with everyone alive and I'm still sober its a success
In all seriousness I find the older kids far harder than the baby. Crazy as it sounds. Every day I pick one thing that is going to happen - a chore or an outing or something, and if we do that then I'm happy with that. Anything else is a bonus. Yesterday was a great day, no one fought and I managed a trip to spotlight and the shops with minimal drama. Monday we took the kids to the royal show and had no problems (shock horror). Today was a mess, they've fought and destroyed the house and I yelled pretty much all day lol
For us once we hit three kids it was nothing to add more kids after that, they just slot right in like they've been there all the time.

[Bella29]

My hubbies biggest thing is the sleep deprivation. We usually have about 18-24 months till the baby sleeps thru fault consistently. So he thinks if we go again in another say 15 months then by the time our youngest is sleeping well, our eldest will be nine..... I the one who gets up over night unless I have a baby feeding at the breast and an older one calls out. But I guess cos Eddie has been harder, he has struggled more this time

[Tegam]

I love the chaos. DH and I say you just have to step it up just a little more each child. Be more organise, planned ect.
I managed to take 6 to the beach today, I couldn't even dress myself day 7 with my first lol

[Bella29]

Yeah I don't think dh loves the chaos. In fact I am not so sure I love chaos either tbh, but I do enjoy the challenge of being more organised as we have more kids. I am so torn. We had a really hard two weeks of school holidays with a really bad bronchitis/cold, and so it was enough to bring dh and I to squabbling, and I am sensitive every time he shows he isn't coping, cos it makes me feel like my dreamed of fourth child is getting further away... . That said, we won't make decisions now. Bu to can't help worrying at it, like a dog with a bone.

[Freya]

I will say Bella -


They grow up. And thank god for that lol Its so hard to see the forest for the tree's when they are little, but when they grow up and get into the 8-9yo range things do get so much easier! They sleep for the most part, they are independent, you can try and reason with them, they can be helpful. While I do find the older boys a bit more of a handful than a toddler (that I can easily influence), they are easier on the whole. They are 8, nearly 7 and nearly 6 now - at school full time, can dress themselves, can feed themselves, can shower themselves, they sleep! So the chaos may remain slightly but overall it gets easier. You just have to survive those early years. Hard to believe any of us do though isnt it

[Lady-bug]

I'm having a 'I want to birth again (and again and again) but my goodness I do not want anymore babies' kind of day.

[Tegam]

Still a little fresh here. I'm at the I want millions more babies of this to last forever but I never want to be pregnant again!!!!

[Lady-bug]

A friend announced her pregnancy the other day and I instantly felt sorry for her (not for having a baby but the pregnancy part) I think this indicates I'm done!

[Bella29]

Bahaha! Oh ladybug! Yeah I wouldn't relish 2/3rds of another pregnancy, or even another birth really. It is just hard work. Amazing, beautiful transformative yes, but also bloody hard work. But a fourth child.... Yes I would love, so I would be willing to go thru the rest to get another beautiful baby. My eldest keeps talking about me having twins tho. Dh says he would literally cry if we had twins! Lol, poor hubby.

[Bella29]

Oh and Freya, thanks for your perspective. I really appreciate that. Dh also worries about the idea that our eldest would be turning 9 by the time our youngest was 2 if we had a fourth and we continued our pattern of having them 2.5 years apart. And so he worries about the idea that she will spend her childhood with really sleep deprived, somewhat shouty and overwhelmed parents, who are only just coping. I cope better than he does but I certainly have my days. It becomes very apparent that I am a very annoying personality type, who likes to plan everything, and if I haven't made a plan, it drives me bonkers! Lol! Oh dear!

[Jennifer13]

Well after a long weekend home alone with the two littlies and toilet training DD2, I'm sure I can't have another DD2...

*sigh* I seem to be a better parent to DD1 and DD3. DD2 has me at my wits' end. I look at her sometimes and remind myself of her wonderful birth and take a deep breath.

I would happily be pg and give birth again because in all nature's unfairness those are pretty easy on me. Although I'll def need to do a bit more yoga and concentrate on the pelvic floor exercises before second tri.

I'm still getting the jealous pang when a friend announces a pg, so not past hoping yet. Oh but I am in the clear for this mth, Bella!

[Bella29]

Oh Jen, I feel the same way! Dd2, is a little monster! The problem is that I think she is so funny and so cute, that she gets away with sheer murder! I find it very hard to be firm with her, so she thinks she is always funny when she is being naughty, coz so often she is. Which means she always pushes it. We tried toilet training whilst I was pregnant. She knows how to do it, but she doesn't want to go to the toilet. She can't be bothered. Cheeky bugger. Not sure what to do with her. I am waiting till we all have a bit more sleep and it is summer so she can be naked most of the time.

[Tegam]

My second dd is the one I feel completely lost on how to parent! We might be on to something!

Oh and bella my eldest will have spent the first 12 years with parents like that by the time little man is 2 but she and her brother were the ones crying at bed time tonight, sad that they were going to miss me and the baby tomorrow when school goes back ....can't be that bad can it if they still love me that much

I agree lady bug I think I'd feel sorry for someone if they announced now