Homebirth General Discussion #3

[Cassius2]

Tegam: she's not the person to be your midwife...that's my honest opinion. the person who should share this journey with you and your family cannot bring fear or feelings of stress into your life...this is far too important event. i would suggest that it would be beneficial to test the waters with someone else. it's obvious that this birth journey this time is not with her ITMS...

my concern if you do decide to freebirth is that it is because you found closed doors everywhere and had no other real option, and i reckon that's not the best place to be (i'm talking emotionally/spiritually here) when bringing a new beautiful life into the world. claim this birth baby!! you need to feel empowered with whatever decision you go with...

gosh i hope this comes across the right way...

[meow]

I have to agree with Cassius. Beautifully said!

Hearing you talk about the fear mongering, you're right Tegam. She was happy not to convery such aloof fears last time so why now? I think it sounds like she was great MW for you last time but she's not part of this journey.

I don't think you need to go to hospital or have a MW to get the birth paperwork sorted for an unattended birth. I'm pretty sure you can write a stat dec and have it cosigned by a doctor/midwife who saw you were pregnant. You will by now have plenty of written evidence of your pregnancy so you'd be fine to stay at home and register this baby's birth afterwards.

[Tegam]

I have to agree with Cassius. Beautifully said!

Hearing you talk about the fear mongering, you're right Tegam. She was happy not to convery such aloof fears last time so why now? I think it sounds like she was great MW for you last time but she's not part of this journey.

I don't think you need to go to hospital or have a MW to get the birth paperwork sorted for an unattended birth. I'm pretty sure you can write a stat dec and have it cosigned by a doctor/midwife who saw you were pregnant. You will by now have plenty of written evidence of your pregnancy so you'd be fine to stay at home and register this baby's birth afterwards.

Ill look into that further! Thats where it gets weird, it feel 'wrong'for noone to take a look at the baby or myself after....

More questions for Tanya too hehe!!

[Tegam]

Hearing you talk about the fear mongering, you're right Tegam.

Thats what upsets me the most!

You are very right, not the right MW for me!

[onthefly]

Tegam, I get what you're saying. I kinda understand the midwife's position, but in saying that I agree that she is definitely not the person you want supporting you anyway.

FWIW (and bearing in mind the fact that I really have no idea what it's like to be in this situation), I would hire a midwife. She's meant to be there as a safety net - only just in case. Even if she makes it to the birth, she probably wouldn't do much anyway, you know? At least if she attempts to get there as quickly as possible (and what you describe from teh last birth doesn't really sound good enough) then she'd be there as your safety net.
But of course you need someone you can trust to really listen to you and give you what you need.

[Arimeh]

Hi everyone

Tegam - I agree with what everyone else has said - everyone just expresses it much better than I ever could.. I hope you come up with a solution that you are comfortable with

I spoke to my mum today, and told her that I was getting the $hits with not knowing where I was going to birth this baby because I couldn't mentally prepare myself for it, if I couldn't visualise the room or place where I was going to birth. She asked me what I meant, and I said, well it will either be at Selangor or in my loungeroom - and she was like - "WHAT!?! Oh no, I don't like that idea at all Melina... what if something goes wrong... "

And I'm like - its ok mum. And she was like - noo go to the birth centre at least, then you are close to the hospital. And I said "mum, it takes half an hour to get into hospital from here (maximum). It takes the hospital half an hour to prep for a c-section, so even if I was at the hospital OR at the birth centre near the hospital, it would still take half an hour before a c-section could be performed. And that would be the ONLY reason I would be going into the hospital, if an emergency c-section was needed."

I think I got my point across without being too rude yes? LOL She didn't say much about it after that.. I think she knows that I'll just do what I'm going to do anyway.

[Arimeh]

Bahhh double post!!!

[Cassius2]

Arimeh: well at least your mum showed her concerns now...my mum waited until the day before Marta was born...and she was my birth support !

Meow: are you a FB fan of MN? i just put some pics up on their fan photos!

[meow]

I agree- best to know your Mum's birth fears now really AE. Possibly changes your perspective on having her as birth support?

I am a fan of MN cassius and your photos just came up in my newsfeed.. they are gorgeous photos!

I just had my birth plan meeting with my MWs and H. It went really well. But now I have to write my hospital birth plan JIC. So unmotivated! I had a great day today... had a second adjustment with the chiro and I'm feeling pretty well. Also had an appointment with a homeopeth and she was fab- loved her! Wetalked for ages about my last birth, postnatal, this pregnancy etc and she gave me something to take now and I'll go back next week to get a birth kit of remedies from her. I've never seen a homeopath before and it was such a lovely, nurturing experience

[Tegam]

gosh i hope this comes across the right way...

Oh gosh it really did!

Thank you ladies for all your support.I know its there if needed and i like to be there for others but sometimes the overwhelmingly kind people in this forum blow me away.

Thank you again and i will keep you posted. Its going to be a journey to get to the right choice but hopefully its a nice ride!