I think I know what you mean madB. I mean none of us really can guarantee what will happen in a birth. I think that is why how we are treated makes such a difference. I know many women who whilst dissapointed after a birth didn't suffer the agonies you and I did after our first borns, just because they had the support and respect they needed. Anyway I am gonna start really planning this birth soon. My biggest decision is going to be who to have as my main birth partner.....