Hot1, so it was a good number of support people? Instead of a student middie, I'd have my doula, I'm just not sure if it would be too many cooks, you know? Did you find everyone found their place and defined their role well?
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I had my midwife, a student midwife and DH (and DD sleeping). I could have had another midwife (for no extra cost) but preferred not to. My student was selected for her life experiences including 2 homebirths. It was perfect for us.
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Hot1, so it was a good number of support people? Instead of a student middie, I'd have my doula, I'm just not sure if it would be too many cooks, you know? Did you find everyone found their place and defined their role well?
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I had a rough time finding a m/w since I was due Jan 1, so I wasn't quite as relaxed as you!
Have been going slow with the midwife search. I really need to sit down with DH and think about exactly what we (and mainly I) want. I'm only in my 7th week, so I've got loads of time
Question? If you had an IM, did you also have a doula, or did you find your midwives support was adequate? Debating whether to have my doula again; she was fantastic and amazing, just wondering if I'll still need that extra support?
I had my m/w, second m/w once second stage started, and Christy as my doula. I hardly noticed my second m/w, although I had spent time getting to know her throughout the pg. Mel, my m/w, basically supervised and kept the conversation going. She checked the baby's heartrate with a doppler. Mel was the m/w I needed because I think she understood I wanted to do it myself, with minimal interruption.
Christy brought food and drink, got me drinks of water and applied pressure to my lower back. She helped DP get the birth pool ready too. She gave me physical support, basically (as well as emotional). She also took some photos. As we'd never been through labour and birth before, she was there to take the burden off DP too. He could focus on the practical stuff and provide encouragement, but he wasn't my only support ITMS. Christy had also had a VBAC so understood what it meant to me.
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Personally, I haven't felt the need for a doula when I have the midwives there. Our local group also works in teams - one for you and one for the baby. However, I've never had one, so maybe I just don't know what I'm missing! Also, my DH is pretty good at labour support. If yours gets stressed or seems lost and unsure of what to do when you're in labour, then a doula might still be a really good choice.
About the moon - thanks for the clarification.I thought that was the case, but I just wasn't 100% sure. By my ultrasounds (both at 12 weeks and 20 weeks), I'm 38 weeks today, and DD4 and DS were born at 38+1, and 38+2.
Trying not to get too wound up about it though - this baby will come when she's ready. Lots of B/H contractions last night. Not a great night for sleep.
The B/H seemed to trigger restless legs, along with trips to the bathroom every hour, and DS was up coughing and crying frequently through the night.
We're all just getting over a round of the flu, and I'm glad the baby didn't decide to make an appearance in the middle of it! Hopefully my MIL and FIL won't come down with it now, because they're our babysitters for the birth!
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I had a student MW throughout the pregnancy but decided against having her at the birth. It was me and DH until the very end when a second MW came. We hardly saw her - I was labouring in the bedroom and 2nd midwife re-heated the pool, tidied up, put plastic sheeting on the couch etc. She took some photos as DS was being born, and once he was out she organised food, tea, loaded the dishwasher, made up our bed, made up some herbs in a squeeze bottle for my peri...I guess that's all stuff a doula would do? I was glad to only have DH, MW and I for 90% of the labour. I think I would have felt crowded with more people in the house for all of that time but it was great having the 2nd MW there at the end to do all that stuff so our MW and DH could focus on supporting me.
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With DD, I had a HB midwife, my doula and DH. I found it to be a good mix. Sometimes I sought reassurance from my doula, sometimes my midwife. I really gravitated towards women, DH wanted to support me physically, but I didn't want anyone touching me. He eventually found his place, which was one word questions like 'water?' and making sure I drank enough (I was sweating like a beast), telling me I was amazing and honestly, just being able to look up and see him was great. My doula and midwife were very hands off unless I needed them which I liked, try were always within reach for comfort or contact, but would hover unless I was asking something or seeking them out. I liked the different dynamics and styles of the two of them.
Honestly, cost factors in too. My doula is top notch and a good friend now, she's a midwife, MCHN and doula, but she is exxy at $1600. I really do want a birth photographer and possibly for them also to get some video, hmm. Definitely something to think about. If only C was an IM, I'd be sorted
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I had my two MWs, a student MW and my H at the birth. I didn't mind them all being there and I was pretty much in my zone ignoring them anyway but they were rarely all in the room. My primary MW & H were the ones with me most of the time. My secondary MW said a few things but not as much. The student MW was quiet and I didn't know till after the birth that she did all the odd jobs like chopping up icypoles for me and hanging out with my son as his support people were late and missed the birth. The secondary MW and student also took photos & video.
There were a couple of times after the birth when it was too many people because my aunty and two cousins had also turned up (son's support people). They mostly came to see me one at a time so the bedroom wasn't crowded but there was one point most people were in the bedroom and my older son was getting anxious so I asked them to leave. It was getting too much then.
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I was happy with my two midwives. But one of them is also a good friend when not with her midwife cap on
If your IM works solo (for the most part) then i recommend your doula as the IM support person might be nice not someone you gel with intimately ITMS. my philosophy is to take no chances and have the BEST support team possible for your circumstances. my bestie and midwife was crucial in my birth...i still dream of those cold lavender infused face washers on the back of my neck lol.
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Just a reminder that babies are on their way!
Babies Arrived
Jennifer13- Baby GIRL born at home 4th January
Bella29- Baby GIRL born at home 10th January
HotI - Baby BOY born at home 21st January
*Ash*- Baby BOY born at home 14th February
loulabelle - Baby BOY born at home 24th February
Babies On Their Way
...Em - May
chocorama - May
Cricket - May
BellyBelly - August
phynna - August
Ambersky - September
lady_neon - September
Cassius - November
pumpkinzulu - December
Mums of Babies Who Left Too Soon
ladybirdflies
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I have been reminded lately of how fortunate i was in my latest pregnancy to have a supportive healthworker who respected my wants and rights. If every woman was able to experience this, the world would be such a nicer place.
PZ, my labour was pretty quick this time. Perhaps if i had a longer labour, more people would have helped? Maybe wait til you know your midwife to decide on your doula and other supports. My midwife offered a second midwife at the birth for the same cost. I think some IMs have extra costs if you want 2 midwves at the birth. Do you have a friend you would feel comfortable in having there to take photos and be lackey ? I would have liked to get a few more photos, or possibly video (just for me to watch), and maybe having someone with that dedicated job would have made that possible. I was expecting a much longer labour and thought i would be able to set more things up. I'm not disappointed in how things went, just may change a few things if we ever did it again.
After baby was born, and it took awhile to birth the placenta and i was unwell, i was glad that there were only a few people there. If there were more, i think i would have been worried about putting them out, but having just the midwife sitting next to me and the student cuddling DS for me was the best thing.
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man, june/july is still a bit empty!
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Maybe one of our August babies will come early.
The second mw was no extra cost, our mws practice in a group and the back up is for them as much as the birthing Mumma.
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I have shingles
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Oh Em, that really stinks.We just had a round of the flu go through the family, and that was bad enough. I hope that clears up really quickly for you, and causes no worries for your unborn/newborn little one!
Starting to have a lot more B/H here. They're keeping me up at night. Along with an overactive mind and restless legs....
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Oh Em
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I had them when pregnant with DD too. Just one of those things that's not fun!
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Em, hope the shingles clears up soon. So not what you need right now. So excited for you and Cricket!
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Another lousy night here. Ugh. Occasional "real" contractions, constant back/leg/hip achiness, PMS cramps, and up to pee every 45 min. I know all of this will help in the end, even with getting in the right head space to look forward to labour, rather than up against it. Right now I'm still in the "I don't want to do this again!" mind set.
DH took the kids to church this morning so I'm home alone to rest. His parents, who are our babysitters for this birth, are gone today, so I'm hoping that nothing else changes for the next few hours anyways. I'll see my midwife tomorrow afternoon, and I wouldn't be surprised if she does a stretch and sweep. That might get things moving over here. I did a bit of a check myself, and it seems to me that I'm about 2cm dilated, cervix somewhat effaced, very soft, still well back though. Baby's head is nice and low. Baby still has lots of room to move, and is still pretty active. I'm guessing right around 7lb - not too big, judging from how things feel. We'll see how accurate my guesses are.
I'm hoping to get a copy of Ina May's Guide to Childbirth from the midwives' library tomorrow. I find that book is so helpful for getting into the right mindset. Currently, I'm kind of scared. Silly, I know. I've had good experiences, and short labours, but I'm really looking up against it right now. Probably the lack of sleep is a factor. If anyone has some encouragement to offer, I'd appreciate it!
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