So...I'm having a homebirth...need some support!

[~Stoked~]

Cassius you SHOULD be excited!!! It will be the best experience of your life! I too had a hospital birth and then a homebirth, what a difference!!!

I was so sad to have the final visit with my beautiful midwife, so much so that i want to have another baby so i can go through the amazing journey again! On that final visit she stayed for about 4 hours and we talked heaps about the birth. We went through everything and it was great to "de-brief". After my hospital birth, i didn't have the opportunity to ask questions and talk about my feelings about the birth with someone who was there and it was so great to be able to do it this time.

I wish you the best of luck and i can't wait to read your birth story and hear how you went.

x x x

[Cassius2]

hi guys!

Neenee: oh wow! congratulations!!! thank you so much for sharing your experience. in fact, it was just like that for me too at the hospital. they were just doing things to me and i had no voice. so not what i was after!

kymmy: yeah the de-brief is soo important. i really truly missed that after the birth of DD. i just wanted someone to go through it with me. i had no idea of apgar scores, times of labour (not that i was mega interested in that side of things, but just to give insight into how much they didnt tell me...i even had to ask what she weighed!). de-brief is sooo important and so so underplayed in mainstream maternity care it aint funny.

[jackrose]

I am having a VBAC homebirth in May, to avoid all of the debacle that went with my hospital birth last time and I am so excited too. I think the more you read the more you will be excited, it is a wonderful journey to be on and by the sounds of it, much better than what you would be going through if you were having to go down the hospital route again.

WRT your desire to have postnatal support, yes, the midwife is definitely there for that. (I have had 2 appointments with my Midwife so far, both at home and both going for over an hour as we chatted though everything! - So much more than I ever got at the hospital) You may want to also consider getting a doula for more of that support. I am looking for one at the moment to work with my DH, friend and midwife. Many hands make light work . A doula is a great support for you before during and after the birth and you may really like knowing you have all that back up.

but are there questions that i should be asking? i mean, people do it with OBs so are there any really important 'must have' questions that you guys recommend? So far, i will want to know that the IM can do back up bookings for a hospy (just for peace of mind as DD had breathing issues in the post birth hours), and for me, if she/he has experience in dealing with women with birth trauma. But is there like an 'essentials list'? or things that you wish you had of asked?

There are some good questions to ask listed in the home birth sections of great birth reference books like "The thinking woman's guide to a better birth" (Henci Goer) - I really really recommend this one I loved it - it helped my understand so much of what went wrong for me last time and made me excited about this birth and all the things which are lined up to go right this time. Also, Ina May's guide to childbirth has a list of questions such as

• Do you maintain statistics from your practice? May I see them?
• What is your plan if you cannot attend?
• What methods do you suggest to alleviate pain?
• What hospital do you transport to if necessary, and what is your relationship like with them?
• How often do you make postpartum visits?
• So you participate in regular peer review?

And one of my own, What suggestions/solutions do you have for a labour that has stalled?

I am happy to post more of them if you are interested, but otherwise, how exciting and good luck!!!

[Lolli]

Hi cassius- YAY!! I'm sos happy for you . i think you've read my birth stories- that's how different a home and hospital birth can be (even an unplanned home one- imagine how good it would have been had it been planned!). And I promise it makes all the difference after the birth, having agood one and feeling like you have a say in what is going on.

I'm excited for you, and super proud of you for choosing a hb. I hope it is a truly awesome expereince

[~Stoked~]

Jackrose mentioned "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth"..... If you haven't already I suggest you read it! I read it, honestly, about 20 times during my pregnancy and it helped me so so so much!
Also i forgot to say that on the final visit my midwife gave me my birth notes.. it is like a diary! Everything that happened during the labour is written down (with times), even things that were said! It is so good to have this as it is so easy to forget what happened. I cried when i read mine.. it is so beautiful. Ask your midwife if they do this too.
x x x x

[sarah.forbes]

I can also recommend 'Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth' as well as Shiela Kitzinger's 'Birth Your Way'. Both of these books really helped me learn a lot about the mechanics of birth, and how to prepare my mind and body the best way possible. I also really enjoyed watching the film 'Orgasmic Birth' (strange title, great film). 'Birth Your Way' has a list of questions to ask a potential midwife that you might be interviewing.

My best advice is to meet a few midwives and find one who makes you feel very comfortable, both in their approach to your medical care, and also in the way you relate to that person. It is important to find someone who can nurture you through the process of your pregnancy, labour, birth and afterwards.

Best of luck! And enjoy!

[Arcadia]

Woo hoo! How did I miss this thread? All the advice is awesome...just coming in to say I am here if you have any questions or want to chat.

I second Rhea's course. Both my dh and sister did it with me and it made sure we were all on the same page. It also taught me not to be afraid of my body...trust in the process and embrace the pain.

It's an amazing journey and one I want to repeat again and again! :hug

[Cassius2]

Hi girls!

i have some updates (ie progress lol!). FINALLY managed to find a midwife that looks like 'the one'! i didnt realise how tricky it could be to find the perfect one that suits our needs on such a holistic level IYKWIM.

Anna: i am hoping to get to the maternity coalitions 'movie night' on the 18th of march where rhea is giving a talk...i look forward to it!

i will be going to a calmbirth class that is run by a good friend (and my second midwife for the birth!). we have a strong connection and thankfully she knows my story from last time and all the trauma that was involved so i feel comfortable that she will be able to guide both myself and DH through this process of healing...

i am wanting to have a waterbirth and was wondering if you guys know where to hire from? i know that my midwife will have options, but i though to also ask you wise women/men if you know of any secret squirrel places available here in melb!

feeling so happy to be out of the hospital system and away from midwives in uniform lol!

[jackrose]

Yay! So glad you have a midwife! Sounds fantastic! And Rhea will absolutely impress.

I just did one of Di Diddle's childbirth classes, even though I was the only 2nd time mum there it was fantastic, informative and inspiring. Rhea did a section of the course and I was blown away by her knowledge, confidence, passion and strength. She is absolutely the sort of person you want around you when planning a birth. (Having said that Di was pretty fantastic too!)

If you are still considering a debrief about the last birth, you should make an appointment to see Rhea. I can imagine it would be very beneficial and very cleansing. I am talking with my DH about going to see her, I still feel there may be some things about the last birth I need to go through regarding his role and his involvement... I get the impression it will be very healing and very important.

I hope you enjoy the film night!

[Mummato2]

The second time around, I was able to cope with the pain easily. Despite having an epi, narcotic AND gas the first time and nothing the second time, I was physically waaay more comfortable the second time. So much so in fact I was totally surprised when the urge to push came, I didn't even realize I'd transitioned lol. I don't want to play down how intense it was but just that it wasn't scary, I was able to cope because I was relaxed and comfortable and cared for. I never felt cared for in hospital.

Your experience second time around sounds like mine.

I had a horrible birth experience first time around. Second time I went through a Birthing Centre that offered Govt funded home births - we had that as an option, but I ended up going through the Birth Centre because they had beautiful, homely rooms and everything I could want.

I didn't realise I was in labour until almost 1 hour before my daughter was born and I can't say it hurt until 15 minutes before she arrived - even then it was more pressure and an overwhelming pushing feeling.

Good for you honey for making this decision - I promise you'll love it!!

[Cassius2]

well, i had my first M/W appt yesterday!! Nic came to our home and an hours appt went for 2 hours!!!!!! soooo different to the 10 minute in-out OB situation lol!

DH was there as was DD and we just chatted and ate lollipops.

I love that DD is such a big part of this experience too, and Nic was supportive of her being there and was not shocked at the prospect that even the dog might wanna have a squiz LOL!

most of all i just loved the freedom of it and ease. feel sooo excited...couldnt sleep all night LOL!

[meow]

Sounds fantastic! You deserve to be this happy and excited

Can I ask which IM you have chosen?

[Cassius2]

Meow: i am going with Nicola Dutton from Midwives Naturally...HTH!

[jackrose]

Excellent! So happy to hear you are having excited positive experiences!

Midwives Naturally are great, I am with them too, although I am not with Nicola. I have friends who birthed with her last time and are using her again and speak very highly of her.

The long appointments are just wonderful aren't they?!

[Cassius2]

yeah i just loved that i didnt feel 'on the clock' that she was just happy to hang out and get to know us. gosh, such a big difference in care and support!

are you going to be at the 'meet the midwives' thingy in april? DH and I are going along!

[Arcadia]

Oh how I miss my midwife! One on one midwifery care is the best. So happy you are on this journey

[jackrose]

Yeah! I have been to all this year and will be along to April and May before this baby comes! I am doing and reading everything to give me the best chance of a VBAC!! Might see you there!

[Cassius2]

woot woo! hope we see you there!

Anna: yeah i also have a feeling that it is going to be strange to have to say goodbye after such a journey as this...weird almost IYKWIM?