happy and sad......

[MantaRay]

Oh Meredith, big, big hugs to you and congrats on your pg.

I know how you feel. I totally get it. DS1 self-weaned at 14 months while I was pg with DS2, and I was devastated. I went through the range of emotions - disbelief (I hadn't even realised when we had our last feed that it would be our last feed), grief, guilt at "causing" this by falling pg again etc etc. So I do know how you feel, and what you are feeling is normal. Bfing is so short a time, and it's a very special time too. It didn't help either that no-one else "got it". My family and friends thought it was a good thing that I wasn't bfing while pg anymore. So that didn't help at all.

Slowly, the "sad" feelings have eased. I still wish he had fed for longer, but I don't feel so bad about it now. I think bfing DS2 has helped with that, as has the old healer, time. And I do take comfort in the fact that it was infant-led.

I am soon to go through the sadness at bfing being over again, this time without a pg, and without any future bfing experiences to look forward to. DS2 has self-weaned down to one very short feed a day, and each morning I know it could be our last feed. I am already feeling sad for the end of my "bfing life", but I guess life will go on and one day the pain of this one will ease too.

Give yourself the chance to grieve. Soon the excitiement of the pg and the difficult, tiring task of being pg with a toddler will probably distract you from it to a certain extent. And then you look forward to bfing bub no 2.

I wish you all the very best.

[BellyBelly]

Oh Meredith, huge hugs to you hon.... what a rollercoaster of emotions for you.

Firstly, congratulations on your much wanted BFP... what wonderful news!

As for the weaning, please do allow yourself to grieve - it's completely normal and okay and you don't have much help from your hormones at the moment with regards to feeling this way... not only have the hormones with breastfeeding changed but pregnancy also! You are bound to feel really emotional.

I found it hard with Elijah when we weaned, I experienced a huge feeling of loss especially since he was so upset about it, then he got sick and sought comfort from his father instead. But now, it's okay because he's back to his old tricks and loves lots of close cuddles and snuggles with me - just without boobs! So all was not lost, we have a very close bond and relationship and I know I will breastfeed again, so I am looking forward to that again.

Let the grieving out, have a cry etc and know that time will heal. You had a special bf relationship and soon you will give Logan the gift of something even more precious - a little brother or sister - something that will give him a lifetime of love and memories - just like your precious breastfeeding memories are to you.

*huge hugs*