I think this is a very delicate area. I had huge problems breastfeeding which my friends all know about. If I have another, I very much intend to give BF another red hot go but if one of my friends gave me a subscription to the ABA, I would feel quite hurt especially if they hadn't mentioned it to me first to run the idea past me. I'm a very proud, "can do" person and would see the gift as an indication that I needed extra help. It's for me to decide whether I need that help - not other people.

That's no indication of the way I feel about the ABA by the way - I think they do a great job. But I also think that part of my problem was that I felt that I would be a complete failure if I couldn't breastfeed which made me extremely anxious about it. I had also read that if you gave a baby one bottle of formula - well, that's the worse thing in the world, they will never go back to the boob - when infact, in my circumstances that would have been by far the most sensible thing to do to give myself a chance to calm down, relax and get back on the wagon rather than being in tears for a week spending 2.5 hours per feed with a half-hour break, then trying all over again. An ABA subscription, as valuable as it is, would have added to my sense of "I have to make this work or I'm the worst person in the world."

I know this isn't the scenario in the post but I think I would tread very gently here. What about a subscription to Bellybelly instead?

I think in your circumstances, I would keep things a bit light and not make it about whether you think you've offended your friend but try to convey the fact that BF is a personal decision. So I would say something like, "I've been thinking again about what you could get your SIL and I think you're right about the ABA subscription - it might seem like you were pressuring her to BF or that you thought she would have problems when it's really up to her what she does. So I think that magazine subscription is a great idea."