Would just like some reassurance

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I don't know why I need this, or why I ever listen to my mother.

I now have DS on a feeding routine to help him sleep longer. It's working. I won't refuse him a feed if he's hungry, but a routine is helping us. I didn't want to do this in the early days, or during teething, but this is just after a growth spurt.

We have: wake-up feed (about 7ish)
breakfast of porridge (and usually breast too) at 8.30
Lunch of breast at 12, fruit at 1.30 when he wakes up
Snack of breast at 4
Dinner (solids only) at 6-6.30ish
Feed to sleep about 8ish.

Feeds overnight currently at 12ish and 4ish.

My mother says that DS should be fully on solids now, just one BF a day. Neither of us are ready to cut back that much. We like our breastfeeding relationship! But am I doing the wrong thing by DS by not pushing solids?

tHANKS!

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

You are right - you don't need us to tell you. You are doing the right thing. Your mother is wrong. Depending how you feel about it you could just smile sweetly and nod, then do your own thing. Or you could, set her straight, or give her some great info such as the Australian Breastfeeding Association's "Grandparents" booklet.
You are doing a fabulous job with your little one
Barb

[RhiChiChi]

Hi Ryn,

You are a great mother, with natural instincts! Sounds like you have a great routine and if it works for your and DS, then stick with it.

[Visitor7]

At this age his milk is still the most important thing, solids comes second. Follow your instincts. If you're happy to follow a routine, then keep doing it. But don't push the solids, let him guide you.

[Taia's Mum]

I totally agree with Jodi! Do what you are happy with and what YOU think is best for your bubba! You don't have to feed him solids non stop - he could have one feed of solids a day if you wanted. Take your time and do what you feel is best!

xoxo

[paradise lost]

Your mothers advice is great - for an 18-month-old maybe!

You're doing the right thing Ryn. Keep it up

Bx

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Thanks girls. I know I shouldn't ever listen to my mother, but as she's visiting this week it would be hard to hide the feeding! He often refuses breakfast or lunch in favour of the breast and it doesn't worry me in the slightest. I would like him to be eating breakfast without the breast in a couple of months, and snacks morning and afternoon rather than an afternoon feed after a year (so just early morning, lunch and night when I go back to work) but don't see the point in pushing it: I have a very unhealthy attitude to food and don't want DS to have that.

Her family are all pretty much anti-breast, or not breast-educated (my cousin's milk "wasn't strong enough", my mum's littlest brother and his family were all bottle feeders and I know my mum is pushing this so she can "have DS for a week to give me a break" but I'm happy for DS to be feeding for years! I also want to show her family that BFing a toddler isn't "wrong", as they have told me it is (then again, they also reckon BFing is wrong so they're just strange). My mum also wanted DS on a bottle of water a day from birth.

I actually don't see the point of solids at all right now - OK, so it's nice to eat dinner as a family and DS enjoys self-feeding (another thing I'm doing "wrong"), doesn't fall asleep just before bedtime and doesn't need entertaining as I eat, but food-wise there's no major benefit.

I just know I'm going to need the reassurance a LOT when she's here considering I'm already doubting myself from just a phone call!

Thanks ladies.

[paradise lost]

Nah, you're doing great Ryn.

By the time he NEEDS solids, DS will be used to tastes and textures and be able to satisfy his own appetites because eating will be a normal thing, but until then i really wouldn't stress. Smee was 7months old (1st November last year ) when she had her last BF and it was AT LEAST 3 months from then that she was reliably wanting solids 3-4 times a day. Lots of babies have days or even weeks when they only want milk (i'd have felt a hell of a lot less worried about it if it'd been BM too!). In fact it's only really been since she was one that i have tried to eoncourage food if she's not eating much (which was when i stopped using formula and switched her to cow juice). Even now there are days when she eats next to nothing and days (like today) when she eats her breakfast then mugs me for mine too!

By the time it comes to TT, stopping BFing and all the disciplining (when he's 3 and REALLY knows how to kick off) you're gonna be SO good at ignoring your mum



Bx

[Starfish]

Hi Ryn

I have been reading some of your posts and I think you're doing a really good job with DS. I think you're doing the right thing in regards to the feeding. When my
DD is old enough I plan to do exactly the same thing that you're doing. No offense, but I think that your mother's advice is completely outdated. I know its easier said than done, but please don't listen to her. Don't doubt yourself. You are in the right.

[RobotPrincess]

As other posters have said - you are definitely doing the right thing. My health nurse says food is only fun until they are one, and that milk (BM or formula) are the most important until then.

But also just because you push solids doesnt mean he would happily drop feeds. My DS is 8.5 months old, has breakfast, lunch and dinner (1/2 cup each meal) and now has afternoon tea (toast or fruit) and still has anywhere between 5 and 8 BF's a day. But he is not overweight, doing everything he is meant to developmentally and is a happy little monkey, so it doesnt worry me

Trust your instincts - you are a great mum

[Smoke Jaguar]

Ha! Tell her that my 15 month old has at least 4 feeds a day still...and he's a solid little fella, who might have solids twice a day if he feels like it, otherwise, it's booby and porridge for brekky, booby and 'scraps' (one mouthful here and there) for the rest of the day!
You know yourself. My next child may not want to feed this often at this age, so I'm just going with his flow I'm getting comments here and there, and I just say (with a shrug of the shoulders) "He loves his booby". Or I'll be feeding him somewhere and someone will ask "How old is he again?", because they are trying to reconcile what the stereotype is of breastfeeding age 'appropriateness' with what they are seeing.
When it comes down to it, YOU are his mother, not the other people with opinions

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Thanks everyone!

She was OK this time - I must be getting more militant as she'd taken some of the clothes back and told me she'd kept receipts for the others! The only one she couldn't take back was a tigger t-shirt, but she thinks my sister would like to see him in it.

She did really annoy me with his feeding (constantly crying that he was choking whenever he ate anything) and wanting to give him honey, ice cream, scone, custard... but in the end just got a Look and she didn't give him food. I am dreading him understading this; how will I say no when he knows she has offered food (a lot of her cooking has nuts in). DS has now dropped the breakfast feed and I'm a bit sad at that, but never mind.

[Jac]

Ryn,
Just wanted to say how lovely it is that you are such strong, independent person with your own views and opinions. It can be very hard to "break the mold" when you have been raised with certain values and beliefs, but you are forming your own beliefs and challenging your family's way of doing things - which can be awfully confronting. Good on you. Keep it up. Your mum will soon learn that if she wants a happy relationship with her grandson, then she will have to start to listen to (and learn from) his wonderful mother!! Keep doing exactly as you are and enjoy your beautiful breastfed little boy.

[Kelly W]

Ryn
Sounds like you are going well to me as everyone else has said - but I want to say one thing - Honey !!!! did you say your mum is wanting to give him honey. Babies should not have honey till they are 12 months old.

I breastfeed by twins till 16 months, And they wer both still having feeds during the day till around 12 months maybe a little more, before they changed to just morning and night.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Kelly, I did say no to all the food (and know about the honey)! He had an upset with cheese - he loves it, it doesn't love him - so dairy is out for a few more months too. He also doesn't have refined sugar, only fruit sugars, but that's me being mean, apparently, as DS would love to eat a custard creme biscuit!

Thank you for all the kind words from both yourself and Jac, it has made me feel a lot better.

[Feathertop]

Well done Ryn, sounds like a huge breakthrough with your mum, maybe she's getting it now!!!

[Heath64]

Hi Ryn,

Don't worry about what other people say about breastfeeding. My mum and muminlaw tried the " You're still breastfeeding thing with me" last time around and I basically ignored them. It does get hard when people stare, but who cares. You're baby is the one who matters and really should dictate when he or she does. Keep up the good work, what an advantage your little one has for their immunity and the link to you.

Cheers!

[Bathsheba]

Well done Ryn Like Maya, my baby is 15 months old and I can't honestly tell you how many feeds he has over a 24hr period. Maybe about 12? They are all, except about 2, very brief feeds of only a few minutes but whatever... we're both fine with it. If you and your baby are fine with it then that's all that matters.