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  1. #19

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    May 2006
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    Northern NSW
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    Hi hun,
    Congrats on becomming a mum!!
    I know it is hard for you, I was 21 when i had my first bub, and I got a fair bit of that attitude myself comming from a small country town. Hold your head up high hun, you are doing your baby proud!!. Any mum so commited and passionate about giving their baby all the love and attention you have, has nothing to feel ashamed about. I am sure your child will grow up knowing just how much their mum loves them. And another point about being a young mum that i have found great,,,when your child grows into a preteen/teenager,,,,they are going to love the fact that you are still "funky and cool" enough to be into their kind of music, and actually have the "skills" to play an xbox, or PS2 with them, and still help them with their homework..... You will be the young, hip and cool mum


  2. #20

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Gold Coast
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    More power to u Sharon!!!

  3. #21

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    Sep 2006
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    Sunny Sunny Gold Coast
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    Ha, I love the part about being cool enough and having the skills to play Xbox and PS2. My mum had me later in life and she never liked video games.... I look forward to play PS2 (or will that be PS6 when Faith is ready?)

    And anyway, today I was at Coles with DH and baby at the check out when this young check out girl commented on how happy and easy going my baby seemed to be. She even said, 'she must be so content just to be around you'. And I was like, wow. All it takes is one person to comment positivily (cant spell) and it makes your day.

    Oh, and I live at Pacific Pines/Helensvale on Gold Coast.

  4. #22
    Love My Baby Guest

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    Hi Shaz,

    I had my DS at 19 aswell. It was unbelievable the way I was treated in hospital. The lady next to me just had a caesarian and she was 40 and I was 19. This one nurse had all the time in the world for the 40 year old and treated me like I was a piece of crap and she made me cry with a few comments.

    It's ridiculous! I have had comments that I am a better mother (I know it's not a competition) than my SIL who had her first baby at 33. It makes no difference of age. It just depends on your personality really, how patient and willing you are..

  5. #23

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    Hey,
    I'm a young mum too - half way to having my first~ And my partner f**ked off... So not only am i young an pregnant but single too... Most strangers havn't judged yet (we'll see when bub gets born) but my extended family love to give me 'those' looks and talk behind my back... It's insulting... And i totally feel where your comming from!

    Take care~
    Cass and Blob

  6. #24

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    In munchkin land
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    646

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    Vic So sorry but for some reason I never got a reply from this thread, I have copied your details into my msn and hope to chat to you soon.

    Love my baby Thats terrible, I was in the same boat when I had my DS I begged to leave the hospital becuase I couldn't take it anymore I left with in the first 24hrs of having him, I had just turned 22 and was the youngest in the ward by far and was treated with no respect, I truly dont understand it, I mean my mum had my brother when she was 18 and back then it was ok to do that so whats the deal now days, its like the older generation decided they had babies to young and think we are all doing the wrong thing I dont want to generalose though as I know thats not the opinion of everyone.

    Cass that is horrible of your partner, well he is the one that is going to miss out on your precious baby hun, I hope you find all the support you need here on BB, and know that there are alot of people here that will listen to you when ever you need it take care.

  7. #25

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    Nov 2006
    Location
    Melbourne
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    i totally agree aswell, i had my first at 18, married at 20, second at 21 and now i'm almost 24 and planning a third. my husband and i have the best possible relationship, we love and adore our kids and are very responsible with money ect and that doesn't seem good enough for some people, i find though i get judged the most for being a stay at home mum, i haven't worked since i was 30 weeks pregnant with my first and people cant believe that. i constantly say i'll go back to work once i have finished my family and the kids are all at school and that is what people turn there noses down to. its like they think i have had kids just so i can sit at home all day! everyone is entitled to their own opinion but i just couldn't leave my darlings. i have learnt after five years to not take any notice of negative comments and only listen to the ones that love and support you. i'm dam proud of what i have!

  8. #26

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Baby Town
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    Im affraid you get unwanted judgement no matter how old you are it suxs

  9. #27

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    Oct 2006
    Location
    Geelong, VIC
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    75

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    I had my first bub at 19. I also lost A LOT of my old school friends too. I think they didn't want to hang around a young mum, they just wanted to go out and party (something that I could no longer do) But the way I see it is, life goes on and you make new friends. I love kids so much so that I went on to have 2 more bubs. I'm now 25 and I wouldn't change my life for anything in the world. Being a Mum maybe one of the hardest jobs in the world but I think it's also one of the most rewarding jobs you could ever do.

    Raven

  10. #28

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    Sep 2006
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    Sunny Sunny Gold Coast
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    Ah, Princess Confused, I can understand you. It really is a shame that people have the AUDACITY to come up and even say anything to you. Who are these people? And if we were to turn around and tell them to f-ck off we would be acting just like they expect LIKE PUNK TEENAGERS!
    Its a shame, it really is. And every time I come on BB and read about this happening I just get more annoyed because its LOOKED DOWN UPON in our society to have kids this young. THE LEGAL AGE TO HAVE SEX IS 16! Of course there is going to be younger mothers. Its not like the legal age is 25 and we are all committing devious crimes.

    I'm glad you joined BB, there is a lot of mums on here that can offer you all sorts of advice and support. Please, just ignore these morons who feel they have the right to speak to you because they do not, and they should know better. You are a parent, regardless of your age, you should be treated with the same amount of respect that a thirty year old gets. Or even an older person. We are all parents, regardless.

    I bet you and your partner will do wonders for your daughter, who has a beautiful name by the way, and you know what SCREW THEM ALL. Do not allow their negative remarks to impact on the positive world you will create for your daughter.

    Oh and happy birthday for last month.

    Take care, Sharon.

  11. #29

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    The funny thing is 50 years ago some people got married at 16-18 and started their families straight away (or had already started them )... whats the difference now??

  12. #30

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    And dont worry, i lost alot of my friends, and the only friends i have now are the couple of girls i know from here.

  13. #31

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Perth, WA
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    679

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    It's interesting to read your thoughts and I find it so funny that people should judge all of you on being so young when you show such maturity in how you cope with pregnancy and bringing up your children...

    Sharon, it was lovely what that checkout girl said to you, hold onto the positives. I'm 30 and will be just 31 when this baby is born, he is our first but I look very young - I'm a high school teacher and more than once I've been mistaken as a student (in front of the kids, which is great for them taking you seriously, as you can imagine!). I find that a lot of the older teachers treat me with very little respect and assume that I have no life experience or teaching experience, so I can kind of see where you're coming from a bit. LOL not sure if that will make you feel better or worse knowing that you could still get the same reactions in 10 years!!!

    Good luck and remember it will never be enough for some people that you have a loving relationship with your child or with your partner, people look at me and my DH and we've been together 10 years this year and they think we got together too young, I'm just happy to have a friend and lover and father of my child all in one, and they can b.tch about it all they like

  14. #32

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    Nov 2006
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    Bendigo, Victoria, Australia
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    I Have to say to all the young mothers that if you can rise to the occasion of raising a child you have already proven yourself. My cousin was 15 when she got preganant. She is lucky because she is in a great family that has been very supportive. For her it was actually a blessing as it got her away from a group of people that were leading her astray. She is a great mother.

    I thinkit is rude for anyone to ask the question was it an accident, One of my co-workers is 28 with her first and she was asked if it was planned or accidental.

    I will be telling people fairly shortly, and will face some similar questions. I only got married in October and coneived about 5 days later, so everyone is going to assume a shotgun wedding.

    But I don't care.

  15. #33

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    Jan 2007
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    VIC
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    Hi,
    I know it's a little late to reply to this post, but I just wanted to add my thoughts.
    I don't consider myself THAT young at 23.... but so many people comment on how young I am to be starting a family.
    I have been with my DP for almost 5 years, living with him for almost as long.
    I am 16w prg. I had a m/c in August last year, and although I wasn't exactly planning on it right then and there, we were ready for kids and were not trying to avoid pregnancy. Our mentality was, if it happens, good. If it doesn't, theres next time.
    I had ALL of my work mates ask if it was an accident.
    Even after they all found out I had m/c and that I was again pg in October, they again asked if it was an accident. It confused me a little as I had already explained the situation!

    My mum had me at 19.
    All of my friends have always commented on how cool she is, and how she understands me so well.
    When I turned 18, I took my mum out on the town!!!
    My mum is not a hippie, or even a real funky person. She is very normal, doesn't look her age, but such a blast to be around. I can have a joke with her, tell her shes looking old (but only kidding) and she goes along with it all, and gives a bit of stick back!
    She's sooo excited about becoming a nanna.
    She's 42, and most people freak when they hear that as she looks so much younger. When they find out she is going to be a nanna, they freak out more, and offer their condolences!!!!

    I don't think it will ever be 'acceptable' by society these days to have a child under the age of say, 30.
    I can't imagine any of my friends (the ones I have left) to be having kids anytime soon.
    I think its really sad that society's mentality has changed so much in 20 years.

    Since being on here, I have realised there are soo many young people in a similar situation. And in a way, I take a bit of comfort in this.

    It sounds like most of u 'youngins' have got urselves sorted. GOOD ON U!!!!!
    Sorry this has been so long and probably doesn't make sense. I just wanted to add my 2 cents worth!

    Nicky.
    P.s if anyone looks at me the wrong way, I always state out loudly, " only ** days till i get to claim the baby bonus!! I can't wait to get that wide screen plasma I saw in myer!!!"
    gets them off my back

  16. #34

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    Sunny Sunny Gold Coast
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    262

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    I'm turning 21 in three days and I'm still experiencing these same sorts of problems. The stares from people who are judging you, the looks from people who are disaproving of you and the remarks from people that downright think you are WRONG. It makes me sad more than anything. Here I have this beautiful one-and-a-half year old daughter who thinks I am the best thing ever, and these other strangers are eyeing me down. And when my daughter throws a tantrum, they look even harder, some don't even try to hide it. When my DH is with me, he gets so angry, he clenches his fists and starts looking at them and muttering..... and he's not a small guy, he's quite large (as I've said before) and they do eventually stop looking. I have even seen a husband once tap his wife on the shoulder and say something to her because my DH was staring at this guy while his wife was staring at me with death glares and everything.

    I think this is going to be problem that bugs me for a long time. Its a shame because everything else is good.... I guess I should just ignore it but you can feel people looking at you.

  17. #35

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    Jul 2006
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    Cloud nine :D
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    I was horrified the other day when i was babysitting my 2 cousins (7months and 3yo) we had ran out of milk in the house, so i had to take them to the shops to get some more, and the amount of discusted looks and horrid comments i got from complete strangers was terrible! Who gives these people the right to judge, they don't know me, and if they had they would know that these children weren't mine!

    I get the same when i pick up my brothers from school and duck into the shops with them, These kids are 12, 12, and 9 - and i still have people commenting on 'apparently my situation'... I had one lady that actually came up to me the otehr day and goo "ohh gosh i bet your hoping this ones a girl! I don't even look that old to have a 12yo!

    just had to vent... thanks

  18. #36
    SoonToBeMum Guest

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    Hi Cass,

    I was in a very similar situation a few years back. I was 15 and 17 when my two younger sisters were born. When I took them places people gave me dirty looks and made quite rude remarks. It actually made me very uncomfortable. What is worse, is that now when my DH and I take them for a day out, they actually tell complete strangers that we are not their parents! Kids have a way of sensing these things, and I feel bad that they too have had to put up with this.

    Now I dont worry about it, people can think what they like. But Im sick of people judging me. They should mind their own business!

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