Hi Baby_socks

thank you so much for your advice. I broke up with my ex a few weeks ago - not because of the baby stuff but actually because he became abusive! And that is definately not someone I want to be with, as well as someone I do not want to bring a child into the world with.

I appreciate what you are saying about the feeling of having to have a child because there is no other choice - and yes, that is absolutely the situation I am facing. I cannot imagine having a life without bringing children into the world. I love children so much and I feel that as a woman, it is a part of my worldly being to reproduce. not only that, I feel that as an educated person, I want to bring a child into the world and teach them all that i know, as well as learn from them and with them and watch them grow while growing with them. While i am in a situation where i may (in a matter of months) have to decide to have a baby or not to have a baby, I will make that decision knowing that it will be a very challenging time for me (and bub). And I will not make that decision (either way)with regret. I have had 4 years to deal with this so far and I don't think a day has gone by when I haven't thought about it. While it is an unfortunate position to be in, i feel that it could be a lot worse (my body clock is ticking quickly - but it's not broken or cancerous etc).

I have a long way to go still with all of this and while this site has helped me, I still feel very lost - I am going to head to the family planning clinic to discuss my issues .. hopefully in time, i will work out what is right and what is best.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experiences with me!